Love is blind
by mimijag
Summary: AU / Set during Season. June 1918. After an injury, Tom is send back to Downton's hospital where he have to adapt his new condition with the help of his friend Sybil now a nurse. But has he the right now to hope for more than friendship?
1. A come back

_**So, back with a new story. I started this a while ago but as you know, it takes me age to write in english ! The idea came after a comment of Theyankeecountess about a blind Tom. Wonderful Repmet is already spoiling us with her beautiful story "Darkness", showing Tom's vulnerability about his handicap and how he deals with it. In this story, Blindness is more a fact in the story than the subject itself. I don't know if I make any sense...lol**_

_**Also, I want to say that I took some liberty with the show mainly about the hospital and what kinf of people it can welcome. **_

_**I hope you'll enjoy it and welcome it.**_

_**xo**_

**June 1918**

Pratt stopped the car in front of the village's hospital and Sybil almost ran out of it, cursing. Not after Pratt, but after herself. Today was her first day back after a two days leave and she had overslept. So now, she was late for her shift and she was angry after herself because Isobel told her yesterday at dinner that they were expecting several casualties from France and she knew she was needed.

Entering through the main door, she intended on finding her cousin as soon as possible to have an update on the wounded soldiers. Walking as fast as she could, she turned in the hallway and nearly ran into Dr. Clarkson. She stopped just in time to avoid bouncing off his chest.

"Dr. Clarkson, please, forgive me!"

"That's all right, Nurse Crawley. I was just coming to meet you. I phoned Downton and they told me you were on your way here. I need to talk to you about something."

Being late, she was about to ask him if it could wait then she saw the look on his face. Whatever it was, it had him worried and darkened his normally clear eyes. It didn't look like something that could wait.

"Is something wrong, Doctor? I know I'm late, I'm sorry about that. It won't hap…"

Dr. Clarkson interrupted her with a sign of his hand.

"Something like that. Please, follow me in my office."

Once again, she was about to protest, arguing there probably was a lot of work to do but what he had to say seemed rather important so she followed him in silence, hoping he wasn't about to fire her.

He opened the door of his office and gestured to the chair facing his desk. That was when she saw that Isobel was already there.

"Let's sit down", said Dr. Clarkson as Sybil was greeting her cousin.

Sybil's gut clenched into a painful knot. Something was definitely wrong. She was wondering if Isobel's presence was meaning that maybe, it was involving Matthew. But her cousin seemed worried, not completely dejected. She smiled softly at Sybil but that didn't comfort her, rather the contrary. Doctor Clarkson took place behind his desk and hesitated a moment, looking at Isobel before his eyes dropped to the floor. And that scared her more than she wanted to admit it because Dr. Clarkson wasn't a hesitant man. He finally looked up.

"As Mrs. Crawley told you", he began, "several injured men had arrived earlier this morning."

Sybil nodded, still trying to figure out where he was going with all this mystery.

"Late yesterday night, I received the list of names from the war minister. One of the names caught my eyes."

"Is it someone we know? Someone from family?"

"It is yes. But not family. It's Tom Branson, your former chauffeur."

Sybil felt the blood drain from her face but tried to get a grip on herself quickly, clasping her hands together to avoid them to shake.

"Is he…is it bad?" She finally asked, trying to sound casual.

"He survived a pretty bad explosion. He was driving a General's car when a bomb exploded near them. He was thrown out of the car. Some bits of metal hit him. Some on his abdomen where he has a pretty bad cut that required a lot of stitches then another one on his head. Let's just say he's very lucky to be alive."

"So…so he's ok?"

"He's in no danger anymore. The explosion is a week's old and there's no infection so far. The cut should heal correctly but it will take time until a full healing. He won't get up in that time to avoid the cut from opening up again. He was unconscious until this morning but he woke up just after his arrival here."

"Then, he's going to be alright?" Sybil asked quickly, feeling that Dr. Clarkson hadn't told her everything yet.

He hesitated again and Sybil felt an icy fist clench at her heart again. He glanced at Isobel then at her again.

"There are some issues regarding his vision."

"Issues? What kind of issues?"

Sybil heard Isobel took a deep breath before answering her.

"At the moment, Branson is completely blind."

The air rushed from Sybil's lungs. Blind? Tom was blind. But he was a chauffeur and wanted to be a journalist. To him, losing his sight would be worse than death! Through a haze of shock, she struggled to focus on what Dr. Clarkson was saying.

"He took a blow to the back of the head and it probably caused some swelling."

"Then, it's not permanent?" She asked.

"I'm afraid we won't know how much permanent damage was done for quite some time. The only thing we could do is wait. He has a long healing ahead of him."

"Can I see him?" She asked forcing the words past a clog of emotion.

"Yes of course. That's part of why I wanted to see you. You don't have any reserve about nursing a former employee, don't you?"

"Of course not!" She exclaimed. "I'll be glad to help as much as I can. After Lt. Courtnay, I've got some experience with this kind of injury", she added with all the confidence she could find.

Dr. Clarkson stood up and showed the door.

"Then let just go with our round. "

The two women followed him in silence. Sybil was dreading to see her friend again. They parted in good terms but she couldn't help but think that all this was her fault. Tom wanted to be a conscientious objector and she had convinced him not to. And now, he was lying in a bed, alive but with a wound that could mean more than death for a man like him. As they entered the main treatment room where several beds were lined up, Sybil took a deep breath, readying herself to face her friend's resentment.


	2. A dreaded news

_**Despite the lack of reviews so I don't know if people like it or not, this is the next step on Tom's journey with his new condition. Thanks to Shanna, Cassie and Angie for their reviews. You know what they meant to me. Thanks to those who follow this story too. I would love to hear what you have to say on it :) Call that the "writer complex" lol!**_

_**Anyway, I shut up now. Good reading.**_

_**. . . . . . . . . . . **_

Tom was lying in one of the bed at the far end of the room. When they neared the place, his head was turned away and Sybil couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not. Trembling inside, she approached the bed and seated on the chair next to it.

Tom's body jumped slightly, being now conscious that he wasn't alone anymore.

"Sorry for having startled you, Mr. Branson", said Dr. Clarkson. "I'm with Mrs. Crawley and N…"

Dr. Clarkson didn't have the time to finish with his introduction because Tom interrupted him.

"Lady Sybil?" He asked with a weak and hoarse voice, his eyes moving frantically but never landing on anything. "Is it you?"

"I'm here, Branson", she answered softly, reaching to take his hand.

"I recognized your perfume", he said.

Sybil felt her cheeks turned red. Even if she was flattered that he did remember it so well, she would have preferred he kept this information for him. Feeling the surprised looks of Isobel and Dr. Clarkson on her, she tried to get a grip.

"I'm with Dr. Clarkson and Mrs. Crawley. You're safe now. We're going to take good care of you."

"What happened, Sir? I don't remember a lot and no one will tell me. I just remember I was driving then…everything went black."

"You were in an explosion", Dr. Clarkson replied.

"Don't worry about that right now", Sybil said softly. "Just concentrate on getting well."

He reached a hand out, weakly searching for her. She caught it and gripped tightly. His voice came out suddenly, a rough and terrified whisper.

"Lady Sybil…I…I can't see."

"I know", she whispered back, running one hand up his forearm. "Everything's going to be all right. Try not to think about it right now."

He nodded but the grip on her hand tightened fiercely.

"We've got to go but we'll be back", said Dr. Clarkson. "Nurse Crawley will stay with you a little bit for now and explain it all to you. She'll change your bandage too."

He then turned to Sybil to see if she was ok with what he just said, not wanting to leave her alone with him if she didn't feel comfortable with that. Sybil nodded to him and they left them alone.

"You're sure it's a good thing to leave them alone together?" Asked Dr. Clarkson to Isobel once they were out of earshot.

"I'm not sure Lord Grantham or the Dowager Countess would agree with that but I think Branson needs some familiarity around him for now. And I know these two have always had a special bound."

Dr. Clarkson's eyes went wide.

"Not this way! Look, I take the responsibility for that if it can reassure you. And I don't know what harm it could do. The poor boy is blind and Sybil's just doing her job."

"Alright", agreed reluctantly the man." Alright."

Back at the other end of the treatment room, Tom refused, for a long moment, to let go of Sybil's hand. She wanted to begin her cares on him but he was gripping her hand tightly. Sybil could feel he was scared. Who wouldn't be?

"Branson…Tom. You have to let go. I just want to put a screen in front of the bed to give us some privacy and gather what I need to take care of your wound. I won't be long."

Slowly, his grip eased until she could slip her hand from his. She was having trouble letting go too. She laid her hand on top of his and leaned down to whisper.

"I promise, Tom. I won't leave you alone any longer than I have to."

Tom nodded and Sybil got up to put the screen in place. Once done, she quickly went to the storeroom to get what she needed to wash his wound.

Left alone, Tom was feeling lost. Every sense he had left was on high alert and he lied rigidly on the bed. He had no idea what time it was, he just knew he had been brought here earlier in the morning because that was when he woke up and someone told him it was six in the morning. Waking up in a total darkness had been a terrifying experience. Without the transition from dark to light, he first thought he was dreaming or even that he was dead. But slowly, he had started to sort out what he was hearing and where it was coming from: a hospital. But still, every new sound was startling him.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He wished he was dead. This situation didn't suit him…that was something he refused to accept. He was not going to go through the rest of his life in a dark and empty void. He depended on his vision more than anyone: he was a damned chauffeur for God Sake! He wished for Sybil to come back and told him how bad things were. But he wasn't very optimistic. If Dr. Clarkson had left the explanations in Sybil's hands, it was probably to try to make the blow less hard for him.

He heard a soft whoosh coming from the end of the bed and he supposed it was Sybil coming back and putting the screen back. He was ready to ask who it was, not knowing driving him crazy but he resisted the urge, refusing to look like the scared little rabbit he felt like.

"Branson?" Then said a familiar voice.

"Lady Sybil?"

Footsteps moved closer to the bed. He could smell the light and delicate scent that was her.

"I'm back."

"Is it still morning? I have no idea what time it is."

"It's just before ten", she replied softly.

As he had before, he held out his hand and she gripped it immediately. Her palm was warm and smooth.

"So", she continued." What the doctors exactly told you?"

"Not much as I've been apparently unconscious for a week and that I just woke up four hours ago. I just know what Dr. Clarkson said a few moments ago. I'm counting on you to tell me how bad it is."

Sybil took a deep breath and tried to organize her ideas. Tom was already afraid and it wasn't necessary to make things worse by being unclear.

"Your silence isn't very reassuring", breathed Tom after a while.

"Sorry. I was just trying to find out where to start."

"Just tell me the truth. That's all I want to hear. I'll deal with the consequences later…"

"All right. So, during the explosion, some metal hit you on the head. They're suspecting a brain swelling."

"That's why I can't see? So it's not permanent?" Asked Tom with some hope in the voice.

Sybil sighed, crushed to be the one forced to cool off Tom's hopes.

"Dr. Clarkson isn't so categorical. It all depends on how big and deep this swelling is. But it will take a lot of time to heal and so, what you just have to do is wait. It means you're going to have to be patient."

"For how long?"

"No one can answer that. This is going to take the time it takes and no one can change that. Plus, there's the cut on your stomach. It's deep and it has to be kept clean to avoid infection. And until it heals completely, you're not authorized to walk or get up."

"Where could I go anyway?" Groaned Tom.

He didn't like this news one bit. Sybil's hand moved in his and he realized he'd been clinging to her with a grip so hard it probably hurt. He forced himself to relax but she didn't let go.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had better news."

"Is there any treatment that can be used to speed up the process?" He asked.

"Not particularly. Researches on the human brain are still at the beginning. There isn't medication for it."

"So, the best medication is time?"

"I'm afraid so. But we'll help you to go through this, Branson."

Tom didn't reply and just let go of her hand. He heard her sigh and get up. He had no choice now than to face it and he knew he'd better start getting used to this. Sybil and the doctors hadn't say a lot but it might be a long time before he saw the world again. If ever.

He made a little jump when he felt her hands on him again. Or rather her bare hands on his bare stomach. He thought she must be cleaning his cut and, when he felt it burned like hell, he knew he was right. But he didn't say a word. He just gritted his teeth and waited for her to finish in silence.

There was nothing left to say anyway. He had to wait to see if his life would ever be the same again. Nevertheless, destiny was quite ironical. Two years ago, he proposed to Sybil and she turned him down. Then, he wanted to be a conscientious objector and she made him change his mind because he didn't want to go to war knowing she was sad because of what he wanted to do. So he did go to the war and now, he was stuck in a bed, useless with not much hope for the future. And the very same girl who had turned him down was now forced to take care of him. He always dreamed to have Sybil's hands on him but reality and the reasons she was touching him today were far less nice than in his dreams.

He didn't resent her or anything for what happened but it just was too damn humiliating to be back this way.

**To be continued...**


	3. Another step

**Thank you to the reviewers and followers. I'm glad some of you are enjoying this story. This is the third chapter, another step for Tom on the recovery path and in his relationship with Sybil. There will be a hiatus until mid-June because I'm leaving for holidays but don't worry, you'll get more when I'm back. Oh, and also, there will be a little smut thing on Friday night for the S/T smut week-end. You didn't think I'll miss all the fun?**

The next three weeks passed in agonizing slow motion as Tom gradually regained some of his strength. But he was frustrated as hell to be forced to lie still. With his strength, some of his memory of the attack began to return as well. At first, it was just tiny snippets: the sound of the explosion, the crunch of metal, the sensation of being thrown around and in the air. Then, he remembered what happened just before and how he and the general he was driving were joking about some weird thing a French soldier did. But he had no memory about after as everything went black.

Sybil was at his side nearly every moment of those three weeks. He had a hell of a time convincing her to take care of the other soldiers or even to go home and get some sleep. His gratitude for her support went so far beyond words he didn't even try to express it. He thanked her more than once but these two simple words were so completely inadequate they didn't even count. He was glad she was here for him as a friend but he was beginning to think her constant presence was meaning more. And he couldn't let this happen. Not now…not now that he probably had no future. He had to keep her at arm's length and not to let her come too close of him. Not before he was definitively certain on his vision's statute anyway.

It was late in the afternoon and Sybil sat at Tom's beside, watching him doze. She had come back from her break to read him a book and tell him about some news but she found him this way. After three weeks at the hospital, he was getting back some of his strength but he still slept a lot and it was those moments, when Sybil was alone with her thoughts, that were the hardest.

She couldn't help wondering what the future held for him…and for her in that matter. She knew him maybe too well. If the blindness was permanent, he wouldn't easily adjust. Who he was, a chauffeur, and who he wanted to be, a journalist, these two parts of him wouldn't survive a permanent loss of sight. It frightened her to wonder how much of him would survive and the ghost of Edward Courtenay was coming back more often these last past few days to haunt her.

Lost in her thoughts, Sybil startled violently when Tom suddenly let out a shout, his head and shoulders coming up off the bed. Leaping from her chair, she caught his shoulders, guiding him back against the pillows.

"Take it easy, you were just dreaming."

He relaxed a little bit and she took her hands from his shoulders, but kept one resting gently on his arm.

"Do you remember the dream?" She asked softly. "You want to talk about it?"

"I…I'm not sure. It's weird. I don't always know what is a dream and what's just memory when I…forget it", he finished, dejectedly.

"No, please, tell me."

"When…when I see things in my head, I'm not sure what it is exactly."

Sybil slumped back in her chair. She hadn't realized how confusing that would be for him. Pulling herself together, she bent down to him.

"Look", she said softly. "It's normal. You had a pretty severe head injury. Don't be frightened by all this. It will take time but you'll sort it out. And I'll help you."

Tom didn't answered and the silence filled the little space Sybil created with the screen.

"You don't have to keep hanging around here, you know. I'm sure you have better things to do than to watch a useless man lying in a bed", said finally Tom. "And I'm not sure your family would approve to see you spending so much time with… "

"I know I don't but I want to", she interrupted him. "And I don't care what my family thinks. For as much as they know, I'm just doing my job."

As he often did these past few weeks, he reached out a hand to her. He knew he should push her away but his situation was taking the best on him. She caught it quickly and he gave her hand a tight squeeze.

"I keep saying this but it never seems like enough. Thank you."

Without letting go, she rose and moved closer to the bed. This time, she gave in to the urge to brush his hair off his forehead, his haircut from the army no longer there. His expression flickered revealing, just for a moment, the scared, vulnerable man beneath the though exterior he tried so hard to show.

"Lady Sybil, I…"

"Shhh."

She laid a finger gently on his lips, not wanting words to destroy the magical link between them. She wanted so much to kiss him, to say to him that she was in love with him, that she thought about his proposal and wanted to accept it. But she knew him well and she was sure he wasn't ready to hear her answer for now. Not when his physical condition wasn't definite.

So she brought her finger away, cleared her throat and sat back in the chair, wondering if Tom could sense what she had just been about to do.

"I have some news for you", she said after a while.

"Good ones?"

"Sort of. First, Gwen sends her love. I wrote to her to tell her about your condition. She was beginning to worry because she didn't receive any letters for a while."

"Well, I can't say that I'm happy about everyone knowing that I'm now a useless thing but she deserves to know. She had been our mailbox this past year after all."

"Don't talk like this about yourself", lectured Sybil.

Tom shrugged. He couldn't help it. But in reality, he was happy to know that Gwen was aware of this all mess because it made him feel like their little team was back together. It reminded him of happier times. When he had been called for war and when he had to say his goodbyes to Sybil, she had asked him to write to her. He had refused at first, saying that her family might have some restrictions if she was receiving letters from an employee. So, she had suggested they wrote to each other by using Gwen as mailbox. She had assured him that their friend would agree to it and that was how their war correspondence had lived through the months. Of course, it had brought him some teasing from Gwen but it was alright because that way, he had been able to stay in touch with Sybil.

"That was the first news", said Sybil, bringing him back from his musing. "Dr. Clarkson also gave is green light. You're authorized to get up and move around a bit. It will be just a few steps until the end of the week. It's the start of your therapy."

Tom suppressed a groan of frustration.

"What therapy?" He growled.

"It's time you start getting mobile again and learning how to do some everyday tasks without the use of your eyes", she told him. "I'll be your therapist."

"It's a waste of time", he shot back. "I don't need to learn how to do things without my sight, because it's going to come back."

"Don't be stubborn, Branson. Because you know I am too. So discussing Dr. Clarkson's orders won't get you anywhere. And excuse me to be rude but you're not sure your sight will ever come back. So stop moaning and get used to it. You don't want to be a burden to everyone in the meantime, do you?"

Her words stung him into silence.

"Beside, you need to learn how to take care of yourself. Once you'll be out of here, you at last need to know how to dress yourself or find the bathroom without help", she added firmly.

"I can dress myself just fine, thank you. I've been doing it for almost thirty years!"

"Really? All right, here!"

A wad of material hit him in the face. Instinctively, he caught it before it fell into his lap.

"What's this?"

"A shirt. Isobel took it from Matthew. Go ahead and put it on", she challenged.

Jaw clenched, Tom sat up. Fortunately, he was bare chest because of his cut so he didn't have to bother about a cloth to take off. The shirt wasn't quite as much problem, as soon as he got it right side up. He slipped it on and fastened two buttons in front then stopped glaring in what he hoped was Sybil's direction. He was "seeing" her standing there, her chin up and her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Not so bad", she said dryly. "But it's inside out."

Tom froze, stunned and humiliated.

"You did that on purpose", he accused between clenched teeth.

"You're right, I did."

She sighed.

"Branson…Tom", she continued, her tone softening. "I know you can put on a shirt by yourself. I just want you to let me help you. And whether you like it or not, you need help to adjust to your new life…for now at least. It's my job to show you how to do things without being able to see. So don't fight me every step of the way. The next couple of days are going to be hard and frustrating but the more you're fighting me, the more they'll be that way."

Tom let himself fall back against the pillow with a dramatic sight.

"All right. I'll try to behave myself. I have no choice anyway."

"No, you don't. Now, take off this shirt and try again."

"You don't know how many times I dreamed about you saying that to me, don't you?" He said in a husky voice.

"Tom!" Exclaimed Sybil, feeling the red crept up her cheeks.

"Just a payback for what you just did to me. I'm blind so I can have a little bit of fun, can't it? It's good for my spirit."

"Just don't make this a habit", she gently grounded, a smile playing on her face. "Someone could hear you and I don't think Isobel or Dr. Clarkson would be glad".

"I promise", he solemnly said.

Taking off the shirt again, Tom regretted now more than any another time to be blind. He wished he could have seen Sybil's reaction at his teasing even if he knew he shouldn't act this way with her. He felt something changed in their relationship for the past few last weeks and although he waited for it, he wasn't sure it was for the better now…

**To be continued...**


	4. Therapy and bad news

**Sorry for the delay but I've been away. From today, updates should be more regular as I'm quite ahead in the writing and soon on holidays. Like usually, thank you for the reviews and still wait for more :) On a technical note, I made some researches and discovered that the white cane had been created by French people in 1917. That's why I use it in this story even if it wasn't the case in the show. x**

The next day, Tom didn't have any trouble getting the shirt on properly and the pants went on easily too once Sybil showed him how to remember to check for the buttons to figure out which was the front. Nevertheless, he was still fuming a bit at being deliberately humiliated even if he knew she was trying to make him accept the need for therapy. But this situation was just temporary or at least, he was trying to think that way. It had to be because if it wasn't, his life was over as well as his hopes and putting a shirt on wouldn't matter anymore.

He heard footsteps approaching and knew instantly it was Sybil. The steps were light and bouncy.

"Good morning, Tom. I'm glad to see you ready. Are you up for a short walk?"

"I'm not a dog", he snapped.

"Indeed, you're not. That's why I'm going to give you a cane and not a leash."

"I don't need a cane. I can walk by myself."

He heard her sight heavily.

"Don't be obtuse with me, Branson. It won't work. I'm sure you've already seen the white canes the blind use to navigate. The French just invented them."

"Yes, I've seen them but I'm not going to use one."

"Until you get your vision back, it's the best you can get. Now quite being so stubborn and take it. See it like a wheel if you want. What would be a car without a wheel? Or even a chauffeur? There's no reason why you can't learn the basics of this thing and get mobile again. You used to be active and I know it must be driving you crazy to keep sitting here all day long."

"Days are long", he admitted.

"With the cane, you can get out on your own. You probably won't be able to leave the floor for a while but it's a start."

"A start for what?" He asked softly. "So you can get rid of me and send me away?"

Sybil's throat tightened. She didn't thought at all about what would happen to him once he would be healed and able to walk around alone but still blind.

"We'll talk about that later. You don't have to bother with that for now."

"You're wrong. I have to. What will I do if my sight doesn't come back?"

"We aren't going to throw you away. I promise. Now, hold out your hand."

Sensing this discussion was over for now, he tentatively stretched out his hand. She dropped what felt like a thin metal stick with a sort of cord at the end into.

"What is it?"

"It's your cane. Go ahead and see if you can figure out how to use it. I'll be right behind you."

Tom hated every minute of therapy but he kept silent and grudgingly made an effort to learn the things Sybil tried to teach him. Well, if he was honest enough with himself, he didn't hate it all. He did enjoy the company and having Sybil all for him. Within a couple of hours, he was crossing the room from the bed to the main door and back, regardless of what the obstacles she put in his path.

The next day, they went to the corridor. Tom refused to acknowledge the knot of fear in his stomach when she told him to walk down to the end and back alone. He was afraid to hit someone on his way and cause damages. But, he decided then to remember that it was just a hospital's corridor and not some enemy lines. So, he took a deep breath and took a step, casting the cane in front of him the way she'd showed him.

"Count your steps as you go", she said to him.

He counted as told before the cane touched something solid in front of him. He then turned around, hoping he didn't look as stupid as he felt.

"Now, count your steps back."

Sure enough, the same number of steps later, his cane bounced off Sybil's shoes.

"Here you are", she said with some pride on her voice.

She wasn't going to tell him but she was rather impressed by what he learned in only two days.

"So, I have to count my steps everywhere I go? I can't even carry on a normal conversation if I'm doing that."

"No, but if you're walking with someone, you probably won't need to count and if you're conversing with yourself, you really need a diversion!" She teased. "More seriously, how do you do everything necessary to drive a car and still talk to me about politics? You're a chauffeur; you should understand what multitasking is all about."

She had a point here. He was used to drive consciously and still think about a myriad of other things unconsciously at the same time. Or drive and look at her in the mirror…She was right, maybe he could get the hand of this.

By the end of the second week, Tom was taking regular strolls around the floor. It was nothing compared to the exercises he had to do in the army but it was better than lying around in bed. He had developed a little habitual path and had even stopped to count his steps once he'd learned to trust the cane.

Sybil had returned to her usual duty, only stopping once in a while to talk to him a little bit or see how he was doing. He realized he missed her presence a lot more than expected. These past few weeks had forged a new and special bond between them, making their friendship stronger with something else…And this was this something else that Tom was desperately trying to push away. He knew his time here was nearing the end and he didn't know how he could handle to be away from her after what they just shared.

He found out he was constantly reaching out to touch her, touching having taken the place of all the special looks they used to share. This silent communication was still there but it was just different now and perhaps, more intense.

Still half lost in thought, Tom started out on another walk on the floor. He guessed he still had some time before Sybil came for her visit before returning to Downton.

"Good evening, Stranger."

Sybil's voice startled him and he jumped slightly before turning to her.

"You're early", he said. "And you damn near gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry, do you want me to come back later?" She teased with a smile.

Even if he couldn't see her, he heard her smile and smiled at her too.

"Now you're here, I don't see the point but you can walk me back to my bed", he answered.

"Lead the way", she said.

Tom turned around and walked to the main room direction without any hesitation and Sybil followed at his side. It was when they arrived in his private space that he realized suddenly that they had linked hands somewhere along the way and he hadn't even noticed. It felt like the most natural thing in the world and also the most dangerous. He cleared his throat and looked down to their still linked hands.

"Hem, you should…let me go", he said softly, the situation remembering him another one a long time ago.

"Oh, yes, sorry", stammered Sybil.

She hadn't realized too what they had did and she felt suddenly very warm. She looked nervously around her to see if Dr. Clarkson or Isobel could have seen them but they weren't around. The last thing she needed right now was a lecture from them. She already had a hard time a few hours ago with the Doctor and the decision he had made about Tom. And she was now nervous as hell to tell him about it.

"Sorry for that."

"Don't be", answered Tom while lying back on his bed. "It was nice. Not quite appropriate but nice."

The silence fell on them and when Tom heard a little thump sound at his right, he guessed Sybil had sat down.

"Is everything all right? You're surprisingly silent today."

"I've got some news."

"Oh, and why don't I find that reassuring?"

"Dr. Clarkson called me in his office earlier this afternoon. He wanted to update me on your condition."

"Is it about my vision? Because I can't see any progress on the subject."

"Yes and no. He said that you're perfectly healed now regarding the cut. And that you've got all your strength back so…"

"So let me guess. He wants me gone…"

"He said he needed the bed for someone else. Someone with heavier injuries."

"I understand", said Tom, dejectedly. "Well, I guess I need to write to my mother to see if she can look after me and if one of my brothers can come here to get me. When does he want me to be gone? I can be ready quickly because I can't say I have a lot of belongings."

"I'm sorry, Tom. I wish you could stay here", said Sybil, taking his hand in hers.

But Tom shrugged her away.

"It's not your fault. Would you mind writing in my stead ? Because I obviously can't do it myself", he added dryly.

He knew this was coming but he didn't expect it to be so hard on him.

"I'll be happy to help you", answered Sybil." But maybe it can wait until tomorrow."

"I'm not sure Dr. Clarkson would agree with you."

"I need to talk to my father tonight."

Tom turned slightly towards her.

"I don't see what talking to your father has to do with you writing to my mother."

Sybil took a deep breath, sensing that Tom wouldn't like her answer.

"I want to ask him to take you in Downton. As a guest."

Tom opened his mouth to protest, this solution being the supreme humiliation for him. But Sybil was faster.

"I know it's not the ideal solution for you. But you still need time with your sight problem. I already asked Dr. Clarkson but he said he couldn't make any exception. Downton is for officers only. But my family is still free to have guests if we want to. So I'll ask papa tonight, after dinner."

"You don't need to do that, Sybil. I can go back to my family."

"To be honest, I'd rather have an eye on you to be sure you're doing your exercises daily and don't get depressed."

She took a pause and Tom heard her move. He jumped slightly when he felt the mattress move and Sybil's hand on his.

"And to be even more honest, I don't want to see you leave."

She bent down and resisted the urge to kiss him on his lips and opted to kiss his forehead instead.

"I'll keep you informed", she said softly before getting up.

Stunned by what had just happened, Tom blinked several times before calling after her.

"Sybil?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Sybil didn't answer and just smiled at him even if she knew he couldn't see her. She was determined to have him stay at Downton and she knew that the evening would be quite challenging. Tom had tried to push her away over these weeks but she could also sense that his situation was what was restraining him to act on his feelings. Because she already knew his feelings, he told her about them two years ago. Today, she only regretted to not have returned them and she was determined to act on them now. She didn't care if he never saw again. It made no difference to her. He was still the man she loved and she would do everything in her power to prove it to him. And for that, she needed time mainly because of his stubbornness. And she won't have time if he went back to Ireland. So, tonight, she had no other choice than to convince her father to let Tom, their former chauffeur, to stay at Downton. Her future and happiness depended on it.

**To be continued...**


	5. Fighting for a friend

**A short one. Sorry but it's a simple transition. But it means a new longer chapter soon :) Thank you for reading and for the lovely reviews. 3**

The dinner seemed to last an eternity to Sybil and she let out a mental « Thank God » when her mother offered everyone to go to the drawing room. Now was the moment she was waiting for and also the most important in her life. Her future was on the line. She let her sisters, mother and grand-mother leave the room before turning to her father.

"You don't want to join them?" He asked while lighting his cigar.

"In fact, I would like to talk to you about something, papa. If it's all right of course."

"Sure. Since Matthew is gone, I'm sitting here all by myself every night. Some company would be just fine for a change."

Sybil got up and took a seat just by his side.

"So, what is on my beautiful girl's mind? I observed you tonight. And you seemed rather preoccupied to me. I hope Dr. Clarkson and Isobel don't wear you out."

"No, no, nursing is just fine. But yes, I'm rather preoccupied."

"I'm listening."

"It's about Branson…"she started.

"What about him? I met Dr. Clarkson yesterday and he told me he was doing just fine."

"Yes, he is. That's part of the problem. He's doing fine but not completely fine in my opinion."

"You're losing me here, Sybil."

"I mean, his sight still isn't back."

"Your cousin seemed to say that it won't be back. That if it was meant to be, it would have already happened."

"I'm not sharing their opinion. I think his sight can come back. He just needs time."

Robert cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, Sybil. But I just don't see what I have to do with this. I don't have some magical power that could give his sight back to Branson."

"I know. It's just that otherwise he's fine so Dr. Clarkson wants him to go."

"And what can I do about it? He's managing his hospital like he wants to. I don't have anything to say."

"But, we could take him in here…"

"At Downton?" Exclaimed Robert. "But he's not an officer. Clarkson would never accept it."

"I already asked him and he said no. But I thought that, maybe, we could have him as a guest. So we can give him a few more months to adjust. He still haven't accepted his condition and…"

"I hope you're not serious, Sybil! It's out of question. What would the other employees think?"

"They would think that you're a caring man. Look, you said once that we had a duty to the people who work for us."

"Branson doesn't work for us anymore."

"Yes, but he probably would if he hadn't been called. Like you would probably have taken him back once the war was over."

"Probably, yes. He's a good chauffeur. But still…"

"He won't be a burden. He's already quite independent. I talked about it with Dr. Clarkson and he said he would agree if you do. I can manage with my shifts here and at the hospital. Edith already agreed too. She'll take care of his needs when I'm gone. I promise you, nobody from the staff would have to take care of him. What we just need is a room. That's all."

"It would be another mouth to feed. Mrs. Patmore already complains that she doesn't get enough for us so…"

"I don't care to share my part."

"I wouldn't allow it, Sybil! I won't let you starve so an Irish chauffeur can stay here as a guest."

"I won't starve. And I take most of my meals at the hospital anyway. But the truth is that I'm worried about him. He's rather depressed and, if we let him go, I'm afraid he would…"

Sybil turned away to hide the tears she was feeling in her eyes, the picture of Lt. Courtnay playing in her mind.

"He would what?" Asked Robert. "You think he could kill himself?"

Sybil sniffed.

"Yes. I don't think he's ready to be alone. He's not used at his condition yet. He's lost. He can't do the things he loved to do anymore: drive, read, write…He needs time."

She paused before adding:

"Do you remember Lt. Courtnay?"

Robert shook his head to say no.

"He was one of my patients when I began at the hospital. He had the same injuries than Branson. When his wounds have been healed, Dr. Clarkson decided to send him away despite Thomas and myself. We thought then he wasn't ready. And we were right. The morning he was supposed to go, we find him dead in his bed. He had opened his wrists. And I can say that Branson is in the same state of mind. He seems to be ok but I can see the symptoms. And I can't let this happen again. WE can't let this happen again."

Once done, she looked at her father who seemed rather overwhelmed by what she had just shared. She had never talked to anyone about Lt. Courtnay and it was like some weight had been liften off her shoulders.

"I had no idea you had to face such horrible things", he said softly.

"I get used to them. But I can't let that happen again."

"I understand. You certainly have given me a lot to think about. Go join your mother and your sisters. I'll give you my answer tomorrow morning."

Sybil nodded and got up, understanding that she shouldn't insist to have an answer now. She had said all she could to convince him and she just had to wait now.

**To be continued...**


	6. A new beginning

**Hello everybody ! Time for a little update. I hope you're all ready for that...As usually thank you for the reviews. A special dedicate to ShanaRosee for this chapter. I couldn't take you on your suggestion but...well, I did have to mention it somewhere...x**

The next day, Tom was on his way to Downton. He didn't know how Sybil had managed to convince her father but right now, he was rather grateful. He couldn't say he was happy to go in the main house in his condition but, since Sybil told him Dr. Clarkson's decision the day before, he couldn't stop seeing himself seated in his mother's kitchen, useless and alone and he couldn't stand it. So, being at Downton would be quite humiliating but, at last, he could talk to Sybil once in a while.

Riding in a car without being able to see was more than a little disconcerting even if he perfectly knew the road. He realized he was sweating and tried to discretely wipe the moisture from his upper lip. Sybil must have seen him because she leaned close and whispered.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm ok", he lied. "But it's a bit weird. It's a good thing I'm not prone to motion sickness."

She chuckled.

"I suppose a trip on the Irish Sea made the trick. I should try it someday because if I close my eyes right now, I think I would be sick."

"It doesn't do any good to close your eyes when motion sickness hit. You need to focus on something. It helps. I'm surprised a nurse doesn't know such a thing!"

Sybil was about to retort something when the car stopped in front of the house. Feeling suddenly even more stressed, Tom turned in his seat nervously.

"You think it's such a good idea? I mean, what are the others going to think?"

"Don't bother with it. It's gonna be just alright. Come on."

She opened the door then went out, Tom sliding on the seat behind her. He climbed out and took her arm the way they had been practicing at the hospital. She walked slowly, stopping to warn him before going up the front steps.

"Good morning, Milady", sang Mrs. Hughes's voice. "Mr. Branson, it's good to have you back."

"Good morning, Mrs. Hughes", answered Tom after Sybil. "I wish it was under better circumstances."

He tried to smile but knew he failed miserably even if he couldn't see it. He felt a hand he guessed was hers on his arms as a comforting gesture.

"The room is ready, Milady."

"Thank you. I'm gonna settle him down."

They entered the busy hall, Sybil still leading him inside to avoid nurses and convalescents who were all around the place.

"Well", said Tom. "Mr. Carson wasn't there to welcome me. I guess it speaks for what he must think of my presence here."

"Don't bother with him. He'll get over it. Here we are", she said, opening a door.

They entered a room and Tom heard Sybil closed the door behind them.

"This will be your sanctuary for the next few weeks. Can I help you to get acquainted with the room?"

"Yes, that would be great", answered Tom, feeling suddenly shy to be at Downton in his own room.

Sybil showed him through the simple bedroom. They had reduced the furniture to the minimal to help him with his movements. A big bed, a desk, a chair and a wardrobe: It was more than he would use anyway.

"So, I'll take care of you most of the time. What I mean is with your meals, shaving, reading, and writing, anything you want. You can get dress by yourself. Bath duty will be between Bates' hands, orders of my father on that point", she said, smiling. "If I'm on shift at the hospital, Edith will help. You can wander as you want on the main floor. I'm sure you'll find someone to talk with as the house is full of people. We put you in this room so you don't have to worry about the stairs. This room is just beside the library so you can orient yourself. If you want to go outside, I rather you to wait for me or Edith."

"Sybil, I don't know what to say. I feel guilty for all the hard work you're putting in that and…"

"Forget it, Tom. I want to do it."

Tom knew it was hopeless to even try changing Sybil's mind once it was made up, but he already owed her more than he could ever repay. She'd been watching after him for so many weeks now. Tom seated on the bed, seeming a little lost, not knowing what to do with himself. He had some sort of routine at the hospital and now, he was feeling like he had to start at the beginning all over again.

"My shift begins in ten minutes. Do you want to come in the main room to sit with the others or would you rather want to lay down a bit?"

"I think I'm gonna lay down if you don't mind. I think I have to get used to the place."

"Very well."

She took his arm and help him to get settle and she was about to leave when his hand on hers stopped her.

"I know I already said it but, thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'm serious, Sybil. I…"

"Shhh…"

She laid a finger on his lips wanting to stop another thanking. But unlike a few weeks ago and before she could stop herself, she replaced her finger with her own lips. She wanted so much to tell him she was doing all this because she was in love with him but she couldn't so she chose to show him instead. He tensed in surprise but only for an instant and then, he responded, returning the kiss and taking it to a deeper more sensual level than she'd intended. Years of wanting and restraint were suddenly being released. His hand left hers and skimmed up her arm to her shoulder, then moved to cup her cheek.

By some unspoken mutual agreement, the kiss very slowly came to an end. She rested her forehead against his, eyes closed and simply savored the agonizingly tender connection that had been forged.

A knock to the door startled them and Sybil sprang her head up, the connection now gone.

"Sybil? It's Edith. Dr. Clarkson is asking after you."

"I'm coming!"

She then turned back to Tom who was lying still.

"I have to go", she breathed.

As an answer, he squeezed her hand, gently caressing her knuckles.

"I'll come back later."

Tom nodded and, without another word, Sybil left him alone with his thoughts. He still couldn't believe what just happened and suddenly, his blindness wasn't his main issue anymore. Now, he had to say to Sybil that all this wasn't a good idea…

**To be continued...**


	7. The discussion

**And we're still moving on. Thank you for my fellow reviewers, you already know what it means to me because, right now, I'm feeling a little bit like Tom with this fic. I'm kind of blind with what people think about it or even read it and it's kind of hard to write this way, especially when I'm struggling with my ending. Anyway, for those who are still with me, I hope you're still enjoying it. So, for my dear readers, I'll try to post another chapter before my departure for Scotland on Saturday. But no promise, it all depend of my beta. Thank for reading/following/Reviewing. xo**

The next week went by with no good news regarding his sight. Sybil wished she had something to say to comfort him because he could use it about now. Almost two months after the explosion, there was no hint that his vision was returning and she could tell it was depressing him. She spent as much time with him as she could but her days were busy. She was almost always at Downton because the number of convalescents was growing up endlessly but she barely had time for herself.

Plus, they didn't even get a chance to talk about what had happened the day he arrived, being always interrupted by someone needing Sybil's skills or advices. But she knew they have to talk. Not knowing where they were standing exactly making her nervous as hell.

When she briefly saw him the day before, she could tell he hadn't slept very well. He was restless and edgy. She had sat with him less than ten minutes, trying to make conversation and watching him prowl the small room from side to side like a caged tiger.

Today, her shift ended early and she was determined to have THE talk with him as well as to distract him a little bit. But, if she was seriously thinking about it, talking with him about her feelings wasn't maybe the best way to relax him.

When she entered through the opened door room, it was almost dark outside. She found him seated in the chair near the fire place clearly lost in thoughts. She stopped and watched him silently, feeling a little bit like a voyeur as she was witnessing the painful tableau in secret. But then, his head came up.

"How was your day?" He asked.

She smiled.

"How did you know I was here and that it was me?"

He shrugged.

"Your perfume, I guess."

She moved into the room and sat down on the bed, near him.

"My day was just fine", she answered finally." But tiring. But, the good news is that I have my evening free so I can spend some time with you."

"I'm sure you have better things to do or even better company to spend time with."

"No I don't."

He heard her got up then close the door.

"It's the first time since last week that I can spend some time with my friend and I'll do just that. And besides, I think we need to talk."

"To talk about what?" He growled as she was sitting back.

"About what happened", she answered softly, suddenly unsure.

"It was a mistake. That's all that needs to be said."

"And what if I have a different opinion? Shouldn't we discuss it?"

Tom sighed.

"What is the point anyway? So it would be even harder for me when I have to go? Or you want me to have a glimpse of what could have been and then took it away from me when you get bored?"

"You know I'll never do such a thing!"

"I don't know anything anymore. I just know that I'm useless now. We have to be realistic or at least, I have to. There's no future for us so like I said, I don't see the point in trying to pretend otherwise."

There was a silence, Sybil trying to digest what he had just said. She sighed loudly.

"I don't agree", she said finally.

"Sybil…" warned Tom.

"You know, I thought a lot after you've been called. About what you asked for at York and about my own feelings…"

"Well, you shouldn't bother now. It's not important anymore."

"Well, once again, I don't agree. You told me then that you would spend every waking minute of your life making me happy."

"It was then. Things are different now."

"And what if YOU are what makes me happy? What if I want to spend my life with you?"

"Please, Sybil. Don't do that. Not now when I can't return it."

"Excuse me but you felt like returning it very well last week."

"Like I said, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have. I have nothing to offer anymore. I can't work, I can't read like before, I can't write. For god sake, I can barely even eat by myself! That wouldn't be a life for you! You don't deserve it and I don't deserve your sacrifice. I would never do that to the woman I love!"

Tom stopped, realizing what he just confessed.

"So", said Sybil with a smile clearly audible in her voice. "You do admit that you love me."

"Yes. I loved you for years and you perfectly know it. But it doesn't change anything. I'm still blind and I'm still useless. When the war is over or even before, I'll go back to Ireland and you'll go back to your life."

"That's where you're wrong. I don't want to go back to my life! You didn't get it by now? I want a new life. And I want it with you, blindness or not. It makes no difference for me. I love you!"

Out of breath, Sybil looked at his face, trying to see if she had made a point or not. Then, she saw him swallow and, his hand came up, silently seeking.

"I…I don't know if I can let you love me…"he breathed, his eyes shining with tears.

"Please, let me", she almost begged, kneeling in front of him. "Let me love you."

Irresistibly drawn, she leaned forward slightly, pressing her cheek to his palm. Mesmerized, she watched his head lowering until his forehead rested against hers. His voice came out as a breathless whisper.

"Maybe you're right. The rest is details…"

Before she had even absorbed the meaning of his words, his mouth touched hers. The kiss was so tender, so achingly gentle, it brought tears to her eyes. His tongue swept against her lips but even as she opened them for him, he was drawing away.

Hardly able to breathe, Sybil searched his face a moment.

"Do you dream of me sometimes?" She asked out of nowhere.

"All the time. Even more now that I know it will stay that way."

Abruptly, he dropped his hand, drawing back from her.

"Tom", she begged again.

"I heard the gong. You should go change, Sybil. It's the smartest move you could make right now."

"I'm not sure about that", she countered softly.

"I am. Please, just go."

The anguish in his voice confused her but if it was somehow hurting him to have her here, like this, she had no choice but to go. Pushing to her feet, she turned and padded to the door, glad he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"This conversation isn't over", she breathed before leaving.

"I think it is", he breathed back to himself.

**To be continued...**


	8. Mary

**As promised, another chapter before I leave. Thank you for my dear reviewers as always. I hope you're still enjoying it.**

The next morning, it took Sybil all her courage to enter Tom's room. After the way things ended the previous night, she was hoping to find him in a better mood so they could talk a little bit more. But apparently, it was too much to ask because she found him seated on his bed, cursing under his breath, getting frustrated with his shirt buttons.

"Let me help you", she said softly, pushing gently away his trembling hands to button him up.

He tried to stop her.

"Sybil, don't. I don't need the pity I know is written all over your face. What I need is to deal on my own."

"You don't have any idea what's on my face", whispered back Sybil, sitting next to him on the bed.

For a moment, neither spoke or neither moved then, very slowly, he trailed his fingers up her arms to her shoulders. A feathersoft touch skimmed up her throat and across her face, exploring her as though she was something new he'd never seen before.

"Sorry for that outburst", he apologized in a faint voice.

She couldn't suppress the shiver than ran through her as his fingertips traced the outline of her mouth. She caught his hand and held it there, gently pressing a kiss to his fingers.

"My heart aches for you", she whispered. "For what you're going through, but I would never, ever pity you."

"I know", he breathed. "I shouldn't have said that. You've been here for me every step of the way. Sometimes, I think your strength is the only thing getting me through this."

"No", she answered softly. "It's your own strength, not mine. You are strong enough to get through this. I'm just trying to make it a little easier."

"You're not just trying. You're making it easier. And I wish to God I knew how to thank you for that."

"You don't have to", she said with a small smile. "But I think you just did."

Tom heard the smile in her voice and reached to touch her lips again, feeling the slight curve in the soft fullness. An ache rose inside him, so strong it threatened to overwhelm him.

"I would give anything to be able to thank you the way I'd like to but…I can't. Not now."

"Why not?" She whispered. "The one thing that hasn't changed is how we feel about each other."

_Oh but it had!_ He answered silently, afraid to say the words out loud. What he'd been feeling for Sybil lately went far beyond their previous attraction, even as strong as that was. The growing need for her burned brighter inside him every day. And he knew in his heart that she felt the same way. He could feel it in the way she touched him, the way she had trembled when he touched her a moment ago.

But now, everything had changed. As much he wanted to believe he would see again, he couldn't take the chance that he might be wrong. He couldn't ask her to take him the way he was now, virtually helpless and completely useless. He couldn't even walk across a strange room without the damned cane or even button correctly his shirt yet! Sybil deserved someone who could keep up with her, and he couldn't do that. Not anymore.

"You look so sad", she said softly.

"I am", he admitted." I'm just beginning to realize all the things I lost along with my sight."

"Like what?"

His fingers started to tremble again as they traced the contours of her face, desperate to memorize every feature.

"Like…you."

His throat closed and he spun away, but he'd gotten so wrapped up in what was happening between them, he'd forgotten he was seated on the bed. He couldn't even escape to hide the anguish inside him.

As he knew she would, Sybil caught his arm and forced him to turn back. She had to tug twice to make him do it, but her urgent grasp wouldn't let him ignore her.

"You haven't lost me", she said quickly. "What in the world makes you think that? I'm not going anywhere. I thought I'd been pretty clear yesterday about that."

"I…I didn't meant that you aren't there for me", he replied softly. "I know you are. I said that earlier but…but I can't help feeling I've lost everything that…could have been."

There was a long moment of silence and Tom could almost feel her frown.

"I don't understand", she said finally. "I thought we were….becoming closer."

"We are, and it has to stop!" He said sharply. "I can't be the man you deserve, Sybil. Not anymore."

"Now that", she shot back, "is patently ridiculous".

"It is not! I think you know a big part of me always hoped that someday you and I would be together, but that can't happen now. What if my sight never returns? You want to be saddled with a blind man the rest of your life when you could travel anywhere? I wouldn't do that to you!"

Sybil was about to retort but someone cleared her throat at the door and they both jumped slightly.

"Sybil, darling?" Asked Mary from the hallway. "Could you please come with me for a moment?"

Sybil turned to her sister and sighed loudly seeing her frown. She was sure she was about to experience a lecture from her oldest sister.

"I'll be back", she whispered to Tom who had tensed at her side hearing Mary's tone.

She patted his arm lightly before getting up and following her sister in the hallway.

"What do you need?" She asked with the calmest voice she could manage.

"I don't need anything", answered coldly Mary. "I just had the feeling that I had to interrupt what seemed like an uncomfortable conversation with Branson."

"It wasn't an uncomfortable conversation!" Exclaimed Sybil.

"Well, whatever. You're his nurse, nothing more. I thought I had to remind you of that. Your behavior with him isn't quite professional. I wouldn't want to have to report it to Dr. Clarkson or even Papa."

"Please, Mary", begged Sybil." Don't say anything. He needs me right now; I have to be there for him. We are friends…"

"Friends? Sybil, he's a patient here. That's it. You have to remember who you are."

"Oh, don't be so snobbish, Mary. We have known him for years."

"Still, he's a former employee and had to be treated like it."

Sybil sighed loudly.

"You know, sometimes I just feel like you and I won't never understand each other."

She glared at her sister then turned away. Mary could think whatever she wanted. She won't give up on Tom or change her behavior just to please her family.

But Sybil didn't see in her back her sister's look. Mary sighed and walked in the opposite direction. Meeting Carson on her way, she stopped him.

"Carson, please, did you see my father?"

"Yes, milady. I just saw him heading to the park."

"Great. Please, bring my coat. I need to talk to him as soon as possible."

Carson nodded and turned away. Left alone, Mary waited for her coat, sure to do the right thing to prevent her little sister to do a stupid move.

**To be continued...**

**Thanks for reading. I'm sorry to leave you there but HOLIDAYS time ! Back mid July. Take care people. x**


	9. The truce

**Sorry for the delay. I hope the next one will be quicker. But my beta got a job so she's busy. Thank you for reading. And thank you to Cassiemortmain for the beautiful collage on Tumblr. x**

Sybil's biggest regret was that she couldn't keep her word and come back to Tom this day. After her heated encounter with her sister, she had been called by Dr. Clarkson at the hospital and came back home only in the morning. She then went straight to bed to have a few hours of sleep without having seen any member of her family nor Tom.

She had woken up just one hour ago and it was already almost noon. But her tiredness was forgotten thanks to the news she had just heard and her heart was beating fast as she was running to Tom's room to share the happy news with him.

She opened the door sharply and bursted into the room.

"Tom! I have…"

She stopped in her tracks seeing he wasn't alone.

"Oh, sorry. Good morning Mister Bates. Mr. Branson."

She felt her cheeks redden, silently praying her father's valet hadn't heard the way she had first called the former chauffeur. The two men were seated at the desk, Bates visibly writing something that Tom was saying.

"Milady", they both answered.

Sybil cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry for interrupting. I just came to share the big news but I suppose Mr. Branson is already aware of it."

"I am indeed", nodded Tom in Sybil's direction. "But thank you for having thought of me."

"So, you both know that my father is expecting to have everyone gathered in the main hall for a few minutes of meditation."

"We are, Milady", answered Bates.

"Well, I'm gonna carry on then", said Sybil, dying to talk with Tom but not wanting to seem too obvious in front of Bates.

She turned away and was about to leave when Bates got up.

"I have to go", he said finally." I'll come back later to finish this", he said to Tom. "Or maybe, Lady Sybil could do it."

Sybil turned again with a smile on her face and nodded.

"Of course I can. Whatever it is. I have the day off anyway."

She could see Tom's face fell but she didn't care. She just wanted Bates gone and be left alone with him. When Bates had left, Sybil closed the door and went to sit in the chair near Tom.

"So, what were you doing?" She asked trying to hide her nervousness in her light tone.

"Writing to my mother", answered Tom blankly.

"I'll help you with it. It's a big day for the world and you're right to share it with her. Isn't it great news?" She asked, apparently not aware of Tom's discomfort.

"I suppose", he simply answered, turning to the window to hide the tears he was feeling coming.

"The truce, Tom. We were waiting for it for so long…"

Not hearing any reaction from him, she at last looked up at him. His face was the saddest she had ever seen, even in his darkest hours. She then realized that the armistice wasn't necessarily good news for him.

"Tom", she said softly, putting down her hand on his." It didn't mean you have to go right away. You can stay here as long as you want."

He pulled his hand away and sighed.

"Don't think I'm not glad the war has ended", he said. "It's just…"

He seemed to search for his words then shook his head.

"Can we just finish with this letter, please? It had to be sent today."

"Of course", she answered, surprised by the change of subject.

But seeing him so sad, she didn't want to push…for now.

"I'll just read what Bates had already written so we can start again from there."

Tom nodded silently to her, knowing that he had to tell her everything in a few minutes.

As Sybil was reading, he could almost hear what she thought even if she stayed silent.

"I…I don't understand", she said finally, hurt clearly audible in her voice.

"You knew it was coming", he answered simply.

"Why now?" she asked, getting up." I told you. You can stay here as long as…"

"Your father thinks otherwise", he interrupted her.

"My father? What did he have to do in this?"

Tom sighed. She deserved the truth failing that anything else.

"Your father came to see me yesterday. With Dr. Clarkson. They wanted to talk to me about my condition and the need for me to go home now that it is obvious that no progress is made regarding my sight. And I think they're right. It's time for me to try and live the way I have to with my new condition and on my own. Well, with the help of my family as a matter of fact."

"But…you can't go. I need you here, I need you in…"

Sybil stopped, on the verge of tears.

"Once Dr. Clarkson told me about the arrangements for my trip", went on Tom, "your father stayed to talk to me some more. He told me than even if Dr. Clarkson hadn't agreed with him, he would have asked me to leave anyway. Because, he thinks you're too attached to me and that our relationship isn't acceptable. He thinks…"

"I don't care what he thinks", cried Sybil, interrupting him. "I'm a big person and I can think by myself! And I know what is good for me! Mary saw us yesterday morning. She probably told him. I have to tell her a piece of my mind."

"Sybil, stop it! We both know he's right…"

"Don't tell me again you're not good enough for me, Branson", she interrupted him, the rage running in her blood. "Believe me, I won't let it happen. You're not going anywhere. See you at the gathering", she added before storming out from the room.

Tom stayed in his chair, stunned by her outburst and unable to say more. He didn't know what she had in mind but he decided then that it was best for him not to go to the little reunion later. He'll just stay in his room and asked after Bates to finish the letter. Then, he'll stay here until it's time for him to go, knowing that whatever Sybil could say to her family, his time at Downton was over.

**To be continued...**

**A/N : so what do you think? Is Tom gonna go?**


	10. A night to remember

_**Sorry for the waiting. I didn't hear a lot with the last chapter. I hope you'll like this one better ! :) Thanks to my girls for the reviews 3**_

Tom didn't know what time it was but he knew it was late, probably the middle of the night. The house had been silent for a long time now but he couldn't find sleep. He was thinking over and over again about his conversation with Lord Grantham and the one with Sybil. He knew the Earl was right but couldn't stop himself to feel sad about the whole situation. It was breaking his heart to abandon Sybil now he knew how she felt about him. He could easily agree with her and let her take care of him but his pride was the strongest and he knew he couldn't live happily with her knowing the sacrifice she was making.

The day had passed in agonizing slowness for him, expecting to see an angry Lord Grantham to burst into his room at any time but he never came. Nor did Sybil. He just saw Bates who came back to finish the letter and take it to the post office. It had even been a regular nurse who came to take care of his meals and he didn't ask anything, fearing to hear that perhaps, Lord Grantham had locked up his youngest daughter in her room until the Irish blind man had left. Or worse, he was afraid to learn that he had succeeded in convincing Sybil her future wasn't with the former chauffeur. Even if he knew deep inside him that it would probably be the best thing to happen.

Tom couldn't see anything but he was standing near the window, lost in his thoughts, trying to figure out how he would survive once her was back in Ireland, alone. He knew his family would take care of him but how would he survive Sybil's absence?

Hearing his door opening, he jumped slightly.

"Who's here?" He asked, suddenly nervous.

"It's just me", answered Sybil's soft voice.

Tom heard the door closing then being locked up. He gulped. He didn't know what she had in mind but he was feeling very uncomfortable with it, whatever it was.

"What are you doing here? You should be sleeping at this hour."

"I couldn't", she said softly. "Not after what happened today."

Tom felt her coming closer.

"You shouldn't be here, if your father…"

"I Don't care", she interrupted him. "We fought this morning. I went to find him after we talked. But I couldn't make him change his mind. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Sybil. You don't have to be sorry", he said trying to hide the sadness in his voice. "We both know that's the best thing to do. I have to go home and deal with my new condition and you'll have your life back. Now that the war has ended, things are going to be back to normal."

"But I don't want my old life back! I want to work, I want to live the way I want! They were all happy at dinner tonight but I couldn't join them in it because that's not what I'm expecting from life. Not anymore."

"You can have anything you want, Sybil. You're beautiful, smart, and full of life. I'm sure big things are waiting for you."

"I don't want big things", she answered. "I just want you."

"You know you can't have me anymore. I won't allow it."

"How can I make you understand", she implored. "I don't care if you can see or not. To me, you're the same man I've always known…the same man I fell in love with."

Tom went perfectly still, stunned by her words.

"Yes, that's right", she whispered. "I'm in love with you and you know it. I have been for a long time and I should have already told you back at York. Things would have been different."

"But you're wrong", he whispered hoarsely. "The man you fell in love with is gone."

"No, he's not", she insisted. "He's right here in front of me. Tom, I didn't fall in love with the chauffeur, or the socialist in you. I fell in love with the proud, honourable, passionate man you are. And now, you're denying what's between us because you suddenly think you're not enough of a man for me."

She took his hand and placed his palm flat against her chest, letting him feel the frantic beating of her heart through the thin material of her nightdress.

"I still love you, Tom. Nothing will change that and nothing will change the fact that I decided to leave with you. Or run away with you whatever you want to call it."

"I can't let you leave with me against your family's will. I know you, and I know you love them."

"Yes, I love them. But I love you too. And if they really love me, then they have to understand that I'll never be happy without you. And nothing will change the fact that I want you in all the ways: in my life, in my heart…and in my bed."

Tom forgot to breathe.

She was so warm, so close, and he wanted this so badly. Oh, how he wanted to believe her words. He ached to pull her close and lose himself in her warmth, if only for a little while even if they both would regret it in the morning. His trembling hand found her shoulder, and then moved to the column of her throat, seeking her lips so he could kiss her before he came apart completely from the need.

Sybil didn't give him the chance to do more than find her chin. Her warm palms surrounded his face a second before her lips touched his. Instantly, Tom was bathed in fire. A groan rumbled up from his chest as he dragged her against him. His hand, still pressed to her chest, drifted lower, gliding over then cupping her breasts. His whole body tightened at the depth of her response. Her lips parted beneath his as she arched against him, pressing herself into his hand.

His other hand snaked around behind her, cupping the fullness of her bottom as he pulled her hips tightly against his own. A soft whimper escaped her as she dragged her mouth away from his. Catching his hand, she silently led him to the bed.

Once near it, she immediately returned to him, kissing him until neither of them could breathe.

"Sybil, we…shouldn't", he said against her lips.

"I know", she whispered, tugging at his undershirt. "I know all the reasons why we shouldn't and a very good one why we should. I love you, Tom Branson."

And with that, he was lost. He groaned as his mouth came down on hers, his tongue sweeping her lips apart to tangle with hers. She peeled the undershirt from him and a moment later, he returned the gesture slowly with her nightdress. Her fingernails drew trails of fire across his chest and abdomen, slowly caressing the scars reminding her she had almost lost him once, as he bent to place a line of kisses across her exposed collarbone.

He nibbled on her neck and felt the shiver that went through her. His breath came in as a hiss when her hand snaked lower to capture him through the front of his pyjamas. She then pulled at the elastic and slowly peeled it from him.

For a moment, she left it at that, her hands skimming up his torso again to resume their restless exploration of his body. His throat closed on a welling of emotion deeper than he'd ever felt before, making words impossible. But none were needed. He was supposed to be the experimented one but he was too overwhelmed to try anything. And she rather seemed to know what she was doing if what he was feeling was any indication. Their mouths, their hands, their breath, all spoke of the love they have denied for too long by fear. Tom was losing himself in her, the line between their two worlds blurring rapidly.

She then pushed him back slightly and he heard the soft, incredibly arousing sound of her underwear hissing down her legs. She guided him to the bed, gently urging him to sit down.

"Lie back", she whispered.

He did as she asked and she then left him for one brief second that felt like an eternity. He would die if she changed her mind now. When she came to him again, he let out a breath of relief. Her mouth roamed his body as her hands had done only moments before, igniting a fire inside that threatened to consume him. She trailed a line of kisses across his chest, sliding up his body until her mouth again found his.

As her tongue performed an intimate duel with Tom's, Sybil knew with absolute certainty that what they were doing was right. It felt more right than anything she had ever done in her life. As their tongues, their bodies, intertwined, their souls mingled just as freely. Completely lost in a world of pure sensation she never had been to, Sybil wasn't even sure anymore where he ended and she began.

She brought one leg across his body to straddle him, feeling for the first time the intimate contact of his straining need against the most sensitive part of her. Tom seated up then and his hands began a slow ascent on her body before folding around her and drawing her against the hard planes and angles of his body. The heated ache of desire rushed through her as she wound her arms around his neck, letting one hand slide over the silky softness of his hair, cupping the back of his head to pull him closer. Very slowly, his tongue retreated but he continued to kiss her several endless moments more before drawing back. His chest rising and falling ragged pattern, he "looked" at her, one big hand lifted to sweep across her hair.

"My sweet, sweet Sybil", he whispered, his voice rough with desire.

Her name became a groan and he took her mouth again in a kiss made all the more tender by the fierce restraint she sensed within him. Long moments passed as they slowly explored each other. Without asking permission, Sybil's hands lifted to explore the hard muscles of his chest, watching them contract beneath her touch, his breath squeezed from him in a rough, ragged hiss that sounded like her name. The hiss became a groan as her hands dropped lower and he fight back with both of his hands sliding so very slowly from her throat, down through the valley between her breasts then across her stomach. Then, his hands and mouth were everywhere, calling for sensations more intense than anything she'd ever experienced as he was looking at her with his hands. She nearly wept from the feeling of his long, strong fingers sliding deep into the most secret part of her. Arching her back, she instinctively pressed closer to his touch, desperate to feel more of him. He was taking her on the most amazingly sensual journey and what she wanted the most now was to take him with her, to show him the same kind of agonizing pleasure he was giving her, but when she reached for him, he twisted away from her questing hands.

"Please", she whispered, "please let me touch you".

"I can't", he murmured softly, his lips pressed to her throat. "Not this time".

"Why?" She tried again, and again, he moved out of her grasp.

"Because, I want you too much."

The words came out as a tortured groan. But to her pleasure-intoxicated mind, his words made no sense, especially when she could feel the rock-hard evidence of his arousal pressed hard against her thigh. Or perhaps, she did understand. She could sense the control he was imposing himself, felt it in the tremble of his body against hers, and heard it in the hitch of the breath in his throat. Catching his hips, she urged him closer. He responded by letting one hand travel the length of her body. Wanting him to lose control at last she pushed back his chest and Tom lay down. She then rose up slightly and felt the broad, blunt tip of him probe gently. Arching her back, she pressed closer, silently urging him to complete a joining that had been inevitable from the moment they met. With immeasurable care, he raised his hips slightly and she then sank slowly down, taking him deep within her as his tongue penetrated her mouth with an equally urgent thrust. A wave of emotion swept through her, so powerful it threatened to consume her. Suddenly, she was complete, as she had finally found the other half of herself.

It was the first time for Sybil and all this was new to her but it also strangely felt so familiar. It wasn't hurting a lot like she had been expecting it, it just felt right and somewhat overwhelming because the dual assault on her senses threatened to throw her over the edge instantly. She didn't know it would be like this and she thought briefly it was better that way or she would have jump at him a long time ago…

She froze, holding him deep inside as a wave of emotion crashed over them both. In the dim light from the moonlight coming through the opened curtains (why bothering to close them when you are blind?), she could see the look of exquisite torture in his expression and watched the emotion flicker over his face. Tom lifted one hand to sweep the hair back from her face.

"Okay?" He whispered his face and voice filled with an infinite tenderness.

"Wonderful", she murmured.

Tom whispered her name again as she began to move and she knew she was probably doing things right because of his moans. It started as a slow exploration of the new and breathtaking sensation, but she felt deep inside that the slow pace wouldn't last. She burned too hot, too high and so did Tom.

As if feeling her growing urgency, he grasped her hips and quickened the pace but not without cost. She felt the tremors that wracked his body as he struggled to control the urge to thrust harder as well as faster.

"Tom, I'm fine", she moaned against his ear. "Let it go. I need you."

A groan wrenched from his throat with every thrust and she felt his body tighten beneath hers. He then surprised her by rolling them over, his heavy body now fully on her, pining her against the mattress as he entered her again. It was a new sensation and Sybil loved it. Tom took some of his weight on his forearms, rocking his entire body so that it stroked hers with every wonderfully powerful thrust. Wrapping instinctively her legs around him, she used them to draw him deeper each time, silently showing him that he would not hurt her. Sweet tension coiled inside her, building and spreading everywhere. Rough moans wrenched from her throat as he gave in just a little, quickening the pace again as he drove deep.

One more thrust was all it took and she was flying over the edge, her entire being shattering in a kaleidoscope of pure sensation. Each and every piece of her fractured self belonged to him, it always had and always would. The force of her release brought her head and shoulders off the bed. Sliding his arms around her, he gathered her close, continuing the deep, rhythmic strokes, drawing out her pleasure until she sobbed with it. His movements lost their rhythm, becoming as erratic as his breathing. He thrust once, twice, and then a third time, tensing as the final wave crashed over him. His head thrown back, she felt him pulsing deep within her, spilling himself into her welcoming heat.

He held her there, trembling violently, for what seemed an eternity, so long that she was almost beginning to worry. Very slowly, the tension bled from him until he finally dropped his head to hers and his arms gave up slightly. He rolled to his side, gathering her to him as he went. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her gently as they slowly came down from the magical place they had carried each other. Sybil burrowed down in the crook of his arm, her cheek pressed to his chest, the silent of the night engulfing them.

"I'm sorry", she heard him apologize softly.

"What for?"

"I think I've been carried away. I…"

"Shhh, Tom", she said leaning to him. "You didn't hurt me. It was wonderful."

As if to prove her words to him, she kissed him long and deep. When he began to respond in earnest, his hand going to the back of her head to steady her against the increasing pressure of his lips, she knew she had succeeded. A long moment later, they finally brought the kiss to an end. He wrapped her in a fierce embrace and silence fell on them.

An unexpected ache rose inside Tom as he held her against him. In his heart, he'd known what would happen if they took this step. Now, he never wanted to let her go. He wanted to keep her for himself in this magical world where social rank and disabilities were unknown concepts, where the lack of vision was irrelevant. Right here, right now, nothing else mattered but her warmth against him and the intense glow in his heart. She just gave herself to him. She gave him a precious gift but, no matter how hard he tried to hang on, this world had to come to an end sooner or later. The real world waited outside that room, a world he could no longer fully join her in. Nothing she'd said earlier made any difference. It didn't matter if she thought she could accept him this way or that she would run away with him. He knew he never would, and if he couldn't, he had no right to expect her to. And even if he ever accepted this one day, he was sure her family, her father ahead, never would. The overwhelming despair that rolled over him forced a sound from his throat that was more than a moan and less than a sob.

Instantly, Sybil came up on one elbow, her arm draping across his chest. Her fingers trailed across his cheek.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She whispered.

"Nothing."

He forced the word past a lump in his throat that wouldn't go away. He gently guided her head back down to his shoulder.

"Let's just lie here a little while longer then you'll have to go back to your room."

She snuggled down again immediately but for Tom, the magic was gone. He'd hold her for however long he had left, then he'd go and find a way to put the pieces of his heart back together, or quietly go insane trying.

**To be continued...**


	11. The morning after

_**I should say at last...sorry it took me so long...Thank you for the new reviewers and followers. A few more chapters to go...**_

Sybil awoke in the early gray dawn to a wonderfully languorous feeling. She knew she should go back to her room now but she wasn't ready yet. She stretched and rolled over, expecting to find Tom beside her. He wasn't.

Fear taking hold of her heart, she stood up and slipped back her nightdress back. Tom wasn't in the room either. Her heart beating quickly, she instantly ran to the window, wondering if he'd gone out for a walk or if he was up, prowling the house again.

Her eyes scrutinizing Downton's park, she finally spotted him, sitting under the big oak tree, his back resting against the trunk. She quickly slipped out of the bedroom and hurried across the main hall then the lawn, ignoring the feel of morning dew on her bare feet.

"Tom, what are you doing out there? It's not safe and it's cold!"

"I don't care right now", he answered, his tone ragged. "I just need some time alone, Sybil. Go back inside, please."

She knew that tone. She'd heard it the other day when he begged her to leave him just after he kissed her. She'd respected his wishes then, not wanting to hurt him any more than he already was but this time, he wasn't going to shut her out. She sat down beside him.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong."

She waited but he remained silent, locked behind the barriers he so easily erected around himself. She watched him tugging unconsciously tuffs of grass from the lawn with hard jerking motions. She tried to put a hand on his knee but he jerked away. A cold realization seeped into her like the dew into her nightdress.

"You regret last night, don't you?"

"Damn right I do!"

He yanked another handful of grass from the ground and flung it away.

"Sybil, it was a mistake. Probably the biggest one I've ever made."

"Why?" She implored, desperately trying to keep her voice steady.

"Because I ruined you! And because it doesn't change anything except to make me want you all the more, and it can't ever be, not as long as I'm stumbling around in the dark."

He shoved to his feet and Sybil watched him throw the cane in front of him. With it, he made his way across the park. He wasn't going towards the house or towards anything else for that matter. He wasn't walking towards anything, he was just going away…from her.

Refusing to lose something she wasn't even used to have yet, Sybil leapt to her feet, closing the distance between them in a few running steps. She grabbed his arm and tried to turn him around but this time, he wasn't budging.

"Damn you!" she cried. "Don't do this to me. Don't do this to yourself!"

Although his back was turned, his face was barely visible, and she could see a muscle jumping in his jaw.

"It's already done. I'm sorry, Sybil. I really am."

It was a nightmare. The main reason she didn't accept his proposal at York was the fear of losing his friendship if something went wrong. Well, something had gone wrong and she couldn't help feeling as though she was on the edge of losing him completely. Unexpectedly, it was anger that flared inside her.

"Fine, wallow in your self-pity then. You said you didn't want my pity and now I see why. You've got enough on your own!"

Spinning on her heels, she started back to the house. She was halfway there when the unmistakable sound of sobs ripped the early morning silence. Whirling around, she went back to Tom who was now crying loudly, fallen on his knees.

She kneeled beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Tom?" She asked softly.

He just sobbed even harder.

"Tom, please. Talk to me. I'm sorry for what I said. I just…"

"No, please", he finally said back. "Don't apologize. You're right, so right. Sometimes, I just tell myself it would have been better if I had died over there…"

"Shh…don't say that."

"But it's the truth, Sybil. When I woke up, I realized what I just did to you and it's not fair. I shouldn't have let it happen. So, I just wanted to go back to the cottage and the garage to "feel" it again one last time before my departure. But…but I couldn't go over there by myself. I was lost, that's why you find me there, wherever I was."

"We can go if you want."

"No…no, it's not important anymore…it just proves that I'm useless, if you ever still doubted it."

"You're not, Tom. Because you were a little bit disoriented doesn't mean you're useless."

"For God sake! I even hit my head on…a tree I guess."

Sybil looked up and just saw that his forehead was lightly bleeding.

"Look, it's cold outside. Come with me back inside and I'll look at your scratch. It's nothing. And you don't want to catch a cold now and neither do I."

She tugged at his arm and he finally surrendered. He was half way up when he let out a sudden gasp, grabbing both side of his head and curling over his knees. She grabbed his shoulders.

"What's wrong? Tom, talk to me! Did you hit your head harder than I thought?"

"No", he gasped through the pain. "I…I don't know…what's wrong. It's like…a knife…stabbing through my skull!"

A moment later, she felt him begin to uncoil, slowly starting to relax.

"The pain's easing", he panted. "I don't know what happened, Sybil. The whole world just exploded in a burst of light and pain."

"Light? You saw light?" She asked with hope in her voice.

"Yes, but it wasn't normal daylight. It felt more like a flash of lightening."

He slowly straightened his back so he was sitting on his heels, then he finally stood up.

"Ready to go inside?" She asked taking his hand and placing it on her elbow to guide him.

"Ready", he confirmed.

They made their way back in the house in silence, both of them lost in their thoughts. Once back in the bedroom, Sybil closed the door and settled Tom on the chair. She was worried sick about him and she started to inspect his head, searching for any bigger injury.

"You're sure you didn't hit your head too hard?"

"I'm sure, Sybil. It's probably the stress. There's no reason for…"

He winced again, putting the heels of his hands to his temples. Another stronger spasm gripped him and he gasped, sliding down the chair to curl on the floor.

"Tom! Oh God, Tom!"

Sybil kneeled again beside him and hold him until the spasm subsided. Once it was gone, she kissed his head and got up.

"I'm gonna change the sheets then you'll lie down while I'll be calling for Dr. Clarkson. He has to come and see what's going on. Maybe it's the swelling…"

"Why would it awake something now?" asked Tom in a faint voice, still massaging his temples.

"I don't know. That's why we need to ask Dr. Clarkson."

"I'm better now", he said as he was slowly getting up." You should go in your room to get dressed at last before calling the doctor or your family would ask too much questions. Don't bother with the sheets…"

"I have to change them, insisted Sybil. I blood a little bit."

"Oh…"

"Or would you rather explain them how it got there?" she teased lightly.

He heard the rustle of the sheets and went to the sound. He finally sensed her and laid a hand on her hip to stop her movements.

"I'm sorry to have ruined you", he said softly.

Sybil sighed and turned to him. Facing him, she took his cheek in her hand and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Don't be, because I'm not. You didn't ruin me, Tom. I'd say you rather freed me."

"Still. It was wrong. I shouldn't have…"

"Enough now. Let me finish with the sheets and fetch the doctor. We'll talk about the rest later."

Feeling that whatever he could say wouldn't change a thing, he waited patiently and in silence for her to be done, wondering what the next few hours would bring. He wanted to have some hope that what happened was a sign of improvement but he was so afraid to be disappointed that he couldn't let himself dream too much.

**To be continued...**


	12. Waiting

It took Sybil only a few minutes to change into her nurse uniform and call for Dr. Clarkson. It was only five in the morning but the house was already buzzing with activity and Sybil asked a housemaid she met in the hallway to alert Carson about the situation and herself when her father would be awake. She didn't want to waste any time to inform him about Tom's whereabouts and that he wasn't going anywhere for any time soon.

She was sitting in the chair next Tom's bed, trying to calm down the ache in his head with bathing his forehead when Dr. Clarkson came in.

"Nurse Crawley?" he asked right away. "What happened? Was he hit on the head?"

"Yes, sort of", she answered." He hit his head on…the wardrobe", she lied.

It wasn't necessary to add to Tom's feeling useless enough by telling the whole story. The most important thing was that he hit his head.

"Since then", she added, "he's suffering from some kind of violent headache. It comes and goes. But each crisis is worse so that's why I called you."

"You did the right thing", answered Dr. Clarkson, bending over Tom to assess the situation.

"I don't know what's wrong with him. He seemed just fine about…I mean, yesterday".

She squeezed her lips together, realizing what she almost let slip out.

"I'm going to examine him. Could you please go to find some clean water?" he asked.

Sybil sensed he wanted her away, probably obeying her father's orders. She didn't have any choice and not wanting to make a fuss in front of the people already working around, she left the room.

When she came back a few minutes later, Dr. Clarkson was done. She put the water down on the bedside table.

"What happened to him?" she asked softly.

"I don't know exactly. It could be anything, really. We never know with the brain. But he has to be confined to bed rest for a while. I don't want him to move too much in case he developed some blood clot in the brain."

"Is that dangerous?"

Dr. Clarkson sighed and looked away.

"It could be fatal…"

Sybil's heart stopped. No, it can't be. She couldn't lose him now. Immediately, she felt guilty. What if their lovemaking had started this? She would never be able to forgive herself.

"But it's also possible that the swelling is decreasing causing these successive crises. So, we just have to wait".

"Wait again…"sighed Sybil. "But, if it's the latter, does it mean he'll be able to see again?"

"We won't know for sure about that until it did happen I'm afraid. For now, I sedated him so he could rest without feeling any pain. He'll sleep through the day and probably much of the night. I want someone to stay with him during all this time. Call me if there's any change or if the pain gets worse."

Sybil nodded and thanked him. Once he left, she let herself fall in the chair next to the bed but rose quickly. There was no possible way she could sit still. Her mind kept replaying memories from the past few days: the confessions of love, the nearly desperate gentleness of his kiss that night and the blazing passion within him just the next night, his utter withdrawal from her this morning. If something happened to him, if she never got the chance to make things right, to talk to him again…

In a futile attempt to escape her thoughts, Sybil looked down at Tom then went to the window. She opened it despite the cold outside in the hope some fresh air would clear her mind. It didn't. Tears that had been startlingly close to the surface for hours pushed a little closer. One slipped from her eye even as she heard a footsteps behind her. She wiped the tear away as her father stepped up close.

Calling upon every scrap of her nurse training, Sybil forced herself to get a grip on her emotions. She turned to the man who wanted to get rid of the man she loved, ready to deny her pain or the slightest of the feeling she could have. Then, she saw the look on his face. She had never seen him this close of tears himself.

"I met Dr. Clarkson as he was leaving. He told me about Branson's condition", he said softly.

The sound of her father's voice was almost too much. She felt her insides beginning to cave. No amount of nurse training was going to get her through this. She couldn't just suck it up and pretend her world wasn't falling apart. Unwilling to lose it completely in front of her father, Sybil did the only thing she could. She ran.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

For hours after she finally managed to get a hold of herself, Sybil walked Downton grounds, nearly oblivious to the cold and the sunshine. This couldn't happen. She couldn't lose him now. She was supposed to spend the rest of her life with him. She knew that now with a certainty that shook her. So, she couldn't lose him now, could she?

Last night was the most incredible experience of her life, a true mingling of bodies and souls. The fates wouldn't be so cruel as to give her one small taste of a joining like that, only to condemn her to a life without it, could they?

**To be continued...almost done people !**


	13. Keeping faith

**We're almost done. A big thank you to my two faithful supporters and reviewers Cassiemortmain and Shana-rosee. You know what it means to me and I value each one of your sweet words both here and on Tumblr. You guys are part of the reason why I go on with all this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. **

Tom awoke almost twenty four hours later like Dr. Clarkson had said he would with what could only be described as the world's worst hangover. His head throbbed unmercifully; he was groggy and a bit queasy. He also had a bitter taste in his mouth and he wondered what Dr. Clarkson had given him.

A male voice tried to penetrate the fog in his mind.

"Branson? Are you awake?"

"Sort of", he groaned. "What happened?"

"Dr. Clarkson gave you something to help you with the pain and to sleep. You were unconscious for almost twenty four hours. He said you have to take it easy", answered Bates.

"Is…Syb…Nurse Crawley here?" he asked.

"Not at the moment."

"I…I need to talk to her".

"I'm sure she'll be back soon. Rest for a while."

"No…not…till I talk to Sybil", he insisted, fighting the compelling urge to sleep. "Please, let me talk to her."

"All right. I'll see if Anna can find her. Stay still, doctor's orders", warned Bates.

So Tom waited. He had to talk to her. Sleep could wait, but only for so long. He just had to hear her voice first.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Sybil was pacing the library's floor. It was still very early and her mother and sisters were still sleeping but she couldn't. She wanted to be with Tom but her father, despite his worry for their late chauffeur, had been clear enough :he didn't forbid her to take care of him but he had required that she wouldn't spend all her time with him and would take care of the last patients still in the house too. He wanted her to do her usual duty. Nothing more, nothing less. She agreed in order to keep a light atmosphere with him but she was boiling inside. So, as Tom was still sleeping, she asked Bates to stay with him so it would be her turn to be with him when he would wake up.

She tried hard to slow down the distraught rambling of her mind. She hadn't slept a wink this night, wondering what the future would hold for them. From the open door, she spotted Anna coming in her direction, a purpose on her stride that said she wasn't coming just to offer comfort. She had news. Unbidden, Sybil's feet carried her in the maid's direction.

"There you are, Milady. I was looking for you."

"What's wrong?" She asked quickly. "Is he worse?"

"No. He's awake and he's asking to speak to you. He says he won't rest until he does".

Sybil's eyes went wide thinking about what Bates and Anna could think regarding Tom's request but she felt comforted by the slight hint of smile on the maid's face. Relief spread through Sybil with the speed of fire. Tom was all right and asking for her. She couldn't suppress the smile on her face.

"I'm coming."

Anna followed her and as soon as they entered the room, she heard Tom's voice, rough and hoarse, calling her name. She rushed to the bed and caught his hand as it flailed in the air.

"Easy, Tom. I'm here. Calm down, I'm here now."

"Sybil?"

His hand tightened painfully on hers.

"It's me", she soothed. "Everything's fine now. Go to sleep. You need to rest. Everything's going to be just fine."

"You…sure?"

He was still under the fog of the medicine Dr. Clarkson gave him. He needed to sleep it off.

"I'm sure", she said softly. "Sleep now. I promise I'll be right here when you wake up."

He let out a long, slow breath and his hand slowly relaxed in hers as the inexorable pull of sleep finally dragged him under. She held his hand a moment longer before turning towards Bates and Anna who were watching her with interest. She knew they were probably wondering about her disproportionate concern on Tom but she didn't feel like explaining anything for now.

"He'll probably sleep for several hours. You both can go. I'll stay here with him."

The two employees nodded and left the room. They knew lord Grantham had made some recommendations about the care of Tom Branson but they wouldn't be the ones discussing it with the youngest daughter.

Left alone, Sybil took a seat and sighed. She had the hope his vision would be back when he woke up but it wasn't the case. They were right back where they started. She took a deep breath, not sure she had the strength to go through it all again.

She was tired and, Tom's hand still in hers, she closed her eyes, letting sleep takes over her, wishing things would be better later…

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Sybil awoke a few hours later and she felt surprisingly quite refreshed. She was a little bit surprised to still be in the chair in Tom's room, curious that her father didn't send someone to take her in her room. She looked at Tom but he was still sleeping. She straightened herself in the chair after rearranging her hair a bit and started her watch, another wave of déjà vu passing through her mind. She was so sick of needing to keep a vigil over Tom. With or without his sight, she wanted him healthy and well and out of this damned room. Six months were already too much.

Alone with her thoughts about Tom's health and what happened between them, Sybil sat for over an hour without any visitor to stop by and she was starting to wonder where everyone was gone. At last, Tom showed signs of stirring. He shifted restlessly before gradually opening his eyes. Instantly on her feet, Sybil took his hand back.

"Hey, there", she said softly. "Welcome back."

He blinked a few times, a useless gesture of habit.

"Sybil? What time is it?"

"Nearly one".

"Night or morning?" He mumbled.

"Night. You slept through the night and some of the morning."

"Everything's still fuzzy. I remember something about head pain?" He tried to touch his head but she gently caught his hand in hers.

"Dr. Clarkson thinks you may have a blood clot", she said softly. "You have to stay still, move as little as possible".

"The…pain. Is that what caused it?"

"Maybe. It also could be the swelling. We just have to wait to see how things are going."

"Wait again!"

He tried to rise and she gently put him back against the pillows.

"It's the only thing to do."

"But, I'm supposed to leave in a few days…"

"You won't. Doctor's orders. My father has no word in it. You're stuck with me for an indefinite amount of time. Sorry."

Tom could hear the smile in her voice and he smiled despite his state of mind.

"I'm still so foggy", he frowned.

"That will go away. Dr. Clarkson had to sedate you heavily to ease the pain. Just lie still. You need to restrain yourself from moving".

"Again. I was just beginning to feel normal."

She brushed the hair off his forehead, not because it needed it but because she did.

"I know", she whispered. "It's a setback but things will be better soon."

"Can you promise it?" He asked. "This blood clot thing…I'm not a doctor but I can imagine that's not good news."

Sybil bit her lips, having wished so much he wouldn't ask.

"No, I can't promise it", she finally replied, deciding he deserved her honesty. "It could be fatal if it's actually a clot."

"I see…" he trailed off. "Well, sort of…"

"I know that's not what you wanted to hear. But, for now, we're together and we're going to wait and fight this together. I won't let you go easily."

Her voice cracked and she turned away to brush a tear even if she knew he couldn't see her.

"Please, Sybil…don't cry. It isn't worth it."

"I don't want to lose you", she moaned. "Not after what we shared."

Tom groaned, remembering the night and what he did against his better judgment. But he chose to put it aside. Sybil needed him to be strong as she was beginning to lose faith.

"I thought you were supposed to be the one to cheer me up?" He tried to joke.

Sybil sniffled loudly.

"I'm sorry. I think I'm starting to be fed up too with all this waiting when all I want is leave with you so we can start our life together…"

"Sybil…about that…"

"I won't let you push me away again, Tom", she warned. "You're life might be in jeopardy but it doesn't change a thing".

"I…I still can't see."

"I know that too. But there's a good chance your sight will return. If the pain was caused by the swelling decreasing then…"

"But it's still only a chance", he growled.

She squeezed his hand, brushing her fingertips gently across his forehead again. She didn't have an answer for him and it was tearing her apart.

**To be continued...**


	14. The view of the heart

_**New chapter. Only one more after that before the end. I would love to hear from you dear readers as we're nearing the end. Now, back to business. x**_

After two days spent lying still on his bed, Tom decided it was time to get out of bed. Unfortunately, his personal nurse didn't agree.

"But you were using everything to get me out of bed last time", he protested.

"That was different. You weren't risking your life by moving. It's only been three days since the last attack of pain. Give it time."

Tom suppressed a groan and reluctantly lied back against the raised pillow. He was going to go crazy lying around again day after day. He just wasn't built for it.

"Are you giving nurse Crawley a hard time again?" asked Dr. Clarkson as he entered the room.

Tom grinned a little sheepishly.

"Good morning Dr. Clarkson. If you ask me, she is the one giving me a hard time. All I want to do is get up and move around a bit."

"Last time it took all nurse Crawley's imagination to get you out of bed. Do we have to tie you down this time?"

"No, I'll stay put, but I don't have to like it", he muttered. "I'm bored out of my mind. How long do I have to stay in bed anyway? I feel fine."

"The purpose is to keep you feeling that way", answered Dr. Clarkson while sitting on the bed to begin his exam. "Did you have any more pain? "

"No. But you didn't answer my question."

"That's because I don't have an answer for you. The brain injuries are still quite unknown. I don't want to take too much risk. But I can say that if you're not suffering any other pain attack in the next twenty-four hours, then I'll authorize you to move a little bit around. Does that suit you?"

"Well, give me my sight back and we'll have a deal."

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I don't have that sort of power."

"Too bad", answered Tom with the hint of a smile.

Sybil witnessed the exchange from the other side of the room and she smiled too despite the emotions getting through her. They'd left things between them tangled in one hell of a knot but she couldn't seem to find a way to smooth them out. They didn't speak about the situation rather concentrated on Tom's health but things were there somewhere in the air between them.

Once Dr. Clarkson left the room, silent fell on them, Sybil trying to seem busy with some medical material near the window. Tom looked in her direction and, even if he couldn't see her, he could tell she was tensed, hearing the sounds her sharp gestures were making. He knew she was hurting and knowing he was the cause was eating him alive; but he didn't dare bring it up, because the only thing he could say to her would do nothing but hurt her more. He couldn't quite figure out why she continued to come and take care of him every day but she did.

He sighed loudly and Sybil turned to him.

"Are you tired? Do you want me to leave?"

"I'm tired", he confirmed. "I think I'm gonna sleep a bit. You should go and find something interesting to do."

Again, he couldn't see her reaction but he did imagine very well her pained face at his words. There was a moment of silence and, when she spoke, her voice was soft and held a note of hurt that went straight to his heart.

"Okay", she finally said. "Well, if you need anything…"

"I'll call. Promise."

"Can I visit later?"

He reached out for her hand and she came near the bed, eagerly taking it.

"Of course you can. Sybil, I'm not trying to shut you out. I know we did leave things between us in a very strange spot and I guess we do need to talk about it but I need a little time, okay?"

"Okay", she whispered.

She still sounded lost, and he knew exactly how she felt. There was nothing he wanted more in the world than to take her in his arms and kiss all those feelings away, but he didn't dare. Nothing on that front had changed. Everything he'd told her out on the lawn after their night together was still true. He wanted her with a need so strong it shook him, but none of that mattered while he was still in a world of darkness.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Days and weeks passed without any another pain attacks. The mood between Sybil and Tom was still rather tensed, neither of them knowing how to handle the other one. But Sybil still came every day and, somewhere along the way, they had fallen into a mutual, albeit unspoken agreement to let things lie for now. But Tom knew the time would come when they would have to discuss what happened the night before his first pain attack. He'd been waiting for the right time, but so far, it hadn't presented itself. Maybe it never would. If he wanted to clear the air, maybe he would simply have to choose a moment and make it the right time. And, as his sight condition wasn't making any progress after two more months on taking things easy, he knew this time should be soon. Because, there was no way that Lord Grantham would let him stay much longer now.

The familiar sound of heels on the floor shook him out of his somber thoughts and he smiled.

"Good morning", greeted Sybil.

"Morning. Anna just brought some tea. Do you want some?"

"Have you ever known me to turn down a cup of tea?" she joked, taking a seat in the chair next his.

"Good point", he replied with a grin.

Sybil watched him serve the tea all by touch alone, filling the cups properly, not a single drop dripping over. She wanted to mention how well he was adapting, but wasn't sure she should call attention on it. Here, in the familiar surroundings of his bedroom, Tom functioned almost normally. Sometimes, she found herself forgetting he couldn't see.

"You certainly seem in a good mood", she commented as she was nervous as hell.

She had some news for him but didn't know how to tell him.

"I guess. Maybe I decided to begin this New Year on the right foot. What brings you over so early?"

"Nothing special", she lied. "With all the men gone my shifts are lighter and I have a lot of free time so I just thought I'd see how you were doing. Do you mind?" she asked, expectantly.

"Not at all, you know that I like to have you here."

They chatted about inconsequential things for a few minutes, enjoying their tea together. Sybil watched him carefully and, at some point, saw his expression flicker and wondered what was going on his mind. She got her answer a moment later when he sat his cup down.

"Sybil, I want to apologize."

"What for?" she asked quickly.

"For…the night before my first pain attacks. I…I took advantage of the situation."

Sybil was stunned.

"You took advantage? I'm the one who offered, remember? I'm the one who came to you and made a move."

"I know, but I shouldn't have taken you up on it. I feel like I used you. I was trying to escape, to find some kind of diversion to take my mind off things."

"Oh."

Stung, Sybil set her cup down with a thud. Finally, her news weren't important anymore.

"I didn't realize a diversion was all it was…all _I_ was."

"No!" he spun around in his chair and rose up. That is _not_ what I meant!

He then reached out and found her shoulder. He guided her to her feet. His voice turned gentle as tears were welling up in Sybil's eyes.

"That night was…everything I ever dreamed of and more. It gave me a glimpse of what could be. All I'm saying is that it's not the right time for us."

"Because you still won't even consider a relationship while you can't see", she whispered.

"Because I can't, not won't. Sybil, it's not fair to you."

"I think I should be the one to decide that, don't you? Didn't anything I said that night sank in?"

"Yes, but…"

He suddenly went rigid and for an instant, Sybil was afraid he was having another attack like he suffered before, but the expression on his face wasn't pain.

"Sybil, you're not in uniform, are you?" he asked suddenly.

"No, I'm not in service today. Why?"

"Is…"

His voice dropped to a low, hopeful whisper.

"Is your blouse blue?"

She glanced down, taken aback by the question.

"Yes, it is. Why do you…"

The realization struck her then.

"Did you see something?"

"I…I think so. Just for a second, it was just a blue blur. I wasn't even sure I'd really seen it. I'm still not. Maybe it's just my mind wanting to hope."

Afraid to try and terrified not to, Tom stared hard at where he knew Sybil was standing in front of him. He saw nothing but the utter void he'd almost gotten used to. And then, it happened again. For a brief instant he thought he saw a vague, shadowy outline. In it, was a hint of blue, or green? Very carefully, he stroked her hair and felt some kind of pin holding her hair up.

"Is this blue or maybe green?" he whispered.

"It's green", she breathed.

Tom's heart soared higher than he'd ever been in a car driving fast. He grabbed her shoulders and put his face mere inches from hers, peering hard, willing her familiar features to appear. Nothing. And then, slowly, as though through the densest fog he'd ever experienced he caught a wavering, blurred glimpse. She was smiling but it was that pinched, worried smile she wore sometimes.

"You", he breathed, "are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her, forgetting everything he'd just finished saying, forgetting that the door was still open and that anyone could see them. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up. One small glimpse of Sybil's face didn't mean his sight would return to normal, but it was a start, by God, and he wanted to share his elation.

Sybil's lips were warm and soft, opening under his the moment they touched. Knowing he shouldn't but powerless to stop himself, he slipped his tongue past her lips, delving into the sweet, welcoming warmth. Her arms went around his neck, drawing him against her as his own hands slid to her back, pulling her close.

Her warmth was the most inviting place he'd ever been and he was sinking fast. While he still could, Tom forced himself to pull back. At almost the same instant, Sybil drew away as well. She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Don't you think we should find Dr. Clarkson?"

He chuckled.

"I would love to _see_ him. Come with me?"

"Of course, you big fool. Come on, let's go to the hospital."

Hand in hand, they left the room to ring Pratt so he could drive them to the village. They were both full of hope but Sybil particularly was moved by the new direction things were taking. She was happy for Tom and happy for herself. But she still didn't share her news with him and, as she knew that having his sight back would change his life again, she also knew her news would too.

**To be continued...**


	15. Love was blind

**Last one guys ! I have to admit that's the first time I ever begin a fic not knowing how to end it. So, please forgive me. When I wrote ( and rewrote ) this I was struggling with some stuff and I needed fluff so, BIG fluff time here. WARNING. Also, I want to thank everyone who read/follow/review this fic and a special thank to Cassiemortmain and Shana-rosee for their infinite support and encouragement. Without you, I probably wouldn't have finished this one. Love you. And as promised to Shana-rosee, there will be a "sequel" or rather a smut epilogue including a bath...I just need to find a beta :)I shut up now. Enjoy everyone and, as usual reviews are...**

Sybil ran down the big staircase of the house. She needed to see Tom as soon as possible. It was almost tea time and she just had a heated conversation with her father about how he should leave to go back to Ireland and now, she had no other option than to share her news with him. She had intended to talk to him a few days ago but the surprisingly partial comeback of his sight had prevented her to do so.

In her haste she almost ran into him.

"Wow, what's the hurry?" he asked in a laugh while gripping her arm to prevent her from falling.

"Sorry, I didn't see you."

She looked at the main door then at him.

"Were you outside?"

"Yeah. After all these months spent locked in a room, I enjoy very much the fresh air, as cold as it is", he shivered. "I went to the village in the morning and now, I just enjoyed a stroll in the park. Anyway, I'm back now. Are you coming with me?" he asked, showing the direction of his room with his head.

"Do you want me to?"

He looked at her with a strange look. With the gradual return of his sight, he and Sybil had begun a bizarre kind of almost unacknowledged relationship. They spent many hours together in his room or walking, or in the library but, once again, they didn't speak about their feelings or what to expect now for the future.

"I want you to", he confirmed finally.

"I have something to check first in the library then I'll come."

He nodded.

"I'll wait for you."

He smiled then turned away. She watched him disappear in the hallway then let out a breath she didn't realized she was keeping. To be honest, she needed a few minutes alone to regroup. She was about to change their lives forever and she wasn't sure either of them was ready for that. There was still a residual strain between them but she was almost afraid to bring it up. It seemed like every time they tried to talk about their relationship, something big, good or bad, happened.

When she was ready, she headed to his room. She didn't bother to knock and just opened the door and entered the room. She saw him first, his back to her looking outside through the window. Then, she saw the big bunch of fresh flowers lying in the middle of the bed. Curious, she stepped closer. It was the prettiest bunch she had ever seen.

Confused and very suspicious, she lifted it and held it in front of her to take a better look at it. There was no way…

"Tooom…"

"Yeah?" he asked without turning, his tone completely innocent…too innocent.

"What's this?" she asked, holding up the bunch.

He turned around at last.

"Uh…a bunch of flowers."

Sybil smirked.

"Smart ass. Whose bunch?"

He looked surprised.

"You mean it's not yours?"

"Nooo", she replied, trying very hard not to smile.

He came closer near to the bed.

"Well, it's not mine so I guess you should take it."

Exasperated, she made a move to hit his shoulder and he burst out laughing. Ducking around her to avoid being smacked, he caught her around the waist from behind.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful but…"

They hadn't shared more than a few passionate kisses since that night. Was this his way of telling her he wanted to be with her?

_"You_'re beautiful", he countered, whispering in her ear, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Please, accept it."

Sybil turned in his arms.

"We're in January. It probably cost you all your savings. "

"Don't mind. Do you like them?"

"Of course I do! But…does this mean…"

"It means I've been an idiot, and I'm trying very hard to make up for it. I'm so sorry for the way I treated you that morning after our night together. I was just…scared."

"And I'm sorry for the things I said that day, too. I was pretty hard on you."

"No harder than you needed to be. You were right, I was wallowing in self-pity."

"Does that mean you would have tried to have a life with me even if you hadn't got your sight back?" she asked.

He heaved a sigh.

"No, I don't think I would have."

She tried to hide her dismay, but knew she hadn't done a very good job when he gave her a quick squeeze and went on quickly.

"I'm sorry but that's the way I feel. Call it a character flaw but I know damn well I'd never completely adjust to something like being blind. Sure, I was starting to get the day-to-day stuff down, but there would have always been a big piece of me missing. I vowed to myself that I would only come to you whole. I owe you that much, and so much more."

Sybil couldn't help it and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Oh, Tom, you must know I'd have taken you any way you were. I told you as much. You see, I learned something these past few weeks."

She cupped his face in her hands.

"I'm not whole without you."

The kiss that followed consumed all the oxygen in the room, because when they finally parted, neither of them could breathe. He looked down at her, his eyes glowing with a fire she'd always dreamed of seeing there.

"By the way, there's something else that goes along with the flowers."

"Oh", she replied, her curiosity flaring. "What?"

He dug in his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box.

"This."

Sybil's heart stuttered, stopped, then kick-started again. With trembling hands, she took the box and opened it. Nestled inside was a beautiful blue sapphire ring matching exactly the color of her eyes. She instantly looked up at his face. He smiled a slightly seductive gleam in his eye.

"So? What do you think?"

Sybil looked back at the ring, then at his face again.

"I…does it means what I think it means?"

"What do you want it to mean?" he asked, laugh audible in his voice.

Sybil rolled her eyes, the smile on her lips not disappearing.

"Are you proposing me a lifetime with you?" she asked softly.

Tom didn't answer right away and just took her cheek in his hand. He slid his thumb on her soft skin and murmured:

"That's exactly what I'm proposing if you're up to, of course. "

Without waiting for an answer, he pulled her to him and kissed her passionately, bringing to life sensations and feeling he thought he never would have again. That and moans of pleasure from Sybil who was left breathless after they parted again.

"I think we already have lost too much time, Love, don't you think?" he asked, placing his forehead against hers. "Plus, your father will probably throw me out soon and I'd rather leave knowing that, someday, we'll be reunited for a lifetime…"

"About that…" trailed Sybil, taking a step away.

Tom frowned and looked at her, expectantly. She looked up briefly to him then back to the open box in her hand. She took her bottom lip between her teeth.

"There's something I wanted to share with you for the past few days but fate seemed to always come in the way."

"What is it? You're scaring me there, Sybil."

"I talked to papa a moment ago."

"I see…let me guess, he wants me gone?"

Sybil chuckled.

"You guess right. But that's not what I wanted to tell you. Well not only. That was why I came rushing down the stairs…to talk to you…damn, I'm making a mess of all that…"

"Just say it", encouraged Tom.

"I came down to tell you to pack your suitcase."

"Oh, he wants me gone that fast?" he half joked.

"Well, he may want us BOTH gone that fast after what I need to tell them tonight. I'm not sure he'll let us stay."

"Because I want to marry you?"

"I'm not sure that would be his main problem…"

"Okay, you lost me there…"

"I think you should sit down, Tom."

He raised an eyebrow but obeyed.

"You see…a few days ago…I…"

Oh My God, how could she tell him that when she hadn't even realized it herself yet.

"Look", she said, sitting next to him on the bed and taking his hands in hers. "There's just one way to say it so I'll say it."

Ye…yes…" frowned Tom, not understanding where she wanted to go with all that.

"I…I'm pregnant."

At that instant, Tom shut out completely. It was like he was blind again. Everything went black. Did he hear her correctly? She was pregnant? But they had only been together one time, how was it possible? He was still trying to decide if he was dreaming or not when a faint voice came to him through the fog he was in.

"Tom? Tom? Did you hear me?"

"You…we…you're pregnant? "

"Yes I am. I wasn't sure until a few days ago but I went to York and a Doctor confirmed it to me. I wanted to tell you sooner but…"

"Oh, My darling…"

His mouth crashed on hers almost violently then, as the kiss progressed, it became tenderer, less urgent. When they broke apart, they smiled at each other and Tom let his hand slid in her brown curls.

"I do love you so much…"he whispered. "I know it's not the ideal. And I know, that we are in a kind of messy situation but I'll be right with you through all this. I'll come with you to tell your family. And we'll get married soon and…"

"Tom, Tom…slow down", chuckled Sybil. "Take a breath. "

"I'm so happy!"

"You're sure?"

"Sure? These past few months have been like hell. You have been the only thing helping me through this and now, I have my sight back, I'm gonna be a dad and a husband…and…"

Tom stopped abruptly.

"Wait…"

"What?"

"Actually, you still didn't accept my proposal or am I wrong?"

Sybil chuckled.

"I'm actually waiting for a real proposal", she answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, really? Then…"

Tom got up then kneeled down in front of her, taking her hand in his.

"Sybil Patricia Crawley would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and the mother of my children? Please?"

Sybil's eyes welled up with tears, not quite believing the way things had gone since the beginning of their conversation. She was feeling like she was ready to explode from happiness and she wondered when things were going to get complicated again…well, if she was honest with herself, she knew they would be once the family will knew about them. But for now, she just wanted it to be about Tom and her, and only them. So, she smiled down at him with her more beautiful smile on and kneeled down in front of him who was waiting expectantly for an answer.

"Yes, yes I will marry you."

Tom kissed quickly her lips before hugging her fierily to him.

"Like I said once, I promised to devote every waking minute of my life to your happiness…to both your happiness. "

He drew away and smiled at her.

"You just made me the happiest man in the world."

He kissed her hand then reached for the box. He took the ring and slid it on her finger.

"Now, it's official."

"Yes it is", she said, looking at the ring. "You shouldn't have, she added. It must have cost you a fortune…"

"It was my mam's."

Sybil raised an eyebrow.

"She sent it to me a few months ago. She had promised it to me when I was younger for when I would have met the right woman. When Bates wrote to her, I asked for it. Your father had just asked me to go and I wanted to give you something to thank you for all the help and care you gave me after my injury. If it couldn't be a love ring, then I wanted it to be a friendship ring at last. I knew that I wouldn't needed it once back home as my heart would have stayed here at Downton so…"

"Oh Tom…I love you so much."

This time, it was Sybil who initiated the kiss and, lost in their happiness, they didn't saw the stunned figure standing on the doorstep. Edith was there, standing still, her mouth opened, looking frantic. Her father had sent her to look for her sister for tea as their grand-mother had arrived and she had just witnessed the most improbable and improper confession from the mouth of her own little sister. She was still trying to recover when Sybil's voice brought her back to reality. At some point, she had probably gasped and broke the joining of the two lovers.

"I…I…" she stammered.

"Oh My God", said Sybil who reacted pretty quickly after hearing her sister's gasp.

She was on her feet immediately and was now pulling her sister into the room. She closed the door and tried to reach through Edith's confused mind.

"Edith, please", she begged.

"Papa send me to tell you tea was served", she answered absent minded, her eyes flying between her sister and their former chauffeur.

"Edith…what you heard. You have to promise me to say anything. Tom and I are going to announce it together."

Edith seemed to register, at last, her sister's words.

"That you're pregnant and marrying the former chauffeur? Papa is going to kill him or at least, call the police to arrest him", she said as a matter of fact. "What were you thinking?"

"Oh please, don't be like Mary. Not you. I'm in love with Tom. YOU, know what it is. YOU should understand."

Edith eyed Tom then turned to her sister.

"You're right, I could. But papa and mama won't…and Grand-mama. It would probably kill her. "

"Don't be silly! They'll understand…at least, I wish they would. Anyway, I decided to tell them today. I can't wait anymore as papa wants to see Tom gone. So, go back there, we'll be here in a few minutes."

"All right, I won't say anything. Good luck with it. I'm not sure you're making the right decision but it's all yours. So, I'll go back there and wait for you both to break our family in pieces."

"That's not what I want…"

"Well, I'm afraid that's all that you'll get."

Without another word, Edith turned away and left the room, leaving Sybil heartbroken.

"Love, we're not forced to do it now…" began Tom.

"We have to", she retorted. "I don't want to see you leave without them knowing for us. I want the air clean, even if it means for me to lose my family. I have my own family to think of, now", she added, turning to him with sad eyes. "And Mary already said something about me putting on weight. I don't have much time before beginning to show anyway…"

"Maybe Edith's wrong, maybe they'll come around…eventually."

"Maybe…Maybe not. But I know what's important for me now and that's you and our baby. So, are you ready to confront the Grantham's anger?"

"If that's what you want, I'm ready, Love", he answered taking her hand in his. "Let's just go shake things a little bit."

Sybil chuckled, her sister's harsh words forgotten.

"You're right, Darling, let's just show them how The Branson's rock!"

Hand in hand, they headed to the drawing room, ready to fight again with what the fate will throw at them. But this time, they were more confident than ever because they were really together to fight it. It was not official yet, but they already were feeling like family. Love was blind.

**The end**

**AN / **_**"let's**____**just show them how The Branson's rock!"**_** I know Sybil wouldn't use that kind of sentence or expression but I couldn't find anything else so I indulged myself. It was like this sentence was coming back to haunt me again and again...so...sorry, not sorry!**


End file.
